Formal "pen and paper" examinations are not the best method of assessing educational achievement

The following topic is from one website which is for practicing IELTS writtings
Many people believe that formal "pen and paper" examinations are not the best method of assessing educational achievement.
Discuss this view and give your own opinion.

exams and performance evaluation at school

Everyone knows that most of examinations for certificates or tests in school are all done by pen and papers. However, I side with the view that to carry out the examinations which focus on professional practices is more important.

Educational achievement is an essential step for the way to a workplace, so some tests is a proof of the experience in school and can show how much efforts you did for studying. Furthermore, the purpose of examinations in school is to make students acquire what they learn. Pen and paper examinations can not completely work it for the effect of learning because it is better to solve some solutions by actions and practices, not merely get the view or concept of knowledge. Learning needs doing by yourself, so that you can really get it.

While others are against of my view, contending that only pen and paper examinations can evaluate the capabilities of students for specific tasks or subjects. It is evident that the scores show the degree and level of examinees and that's their ability. It is true that the more scores you get, the more your level is. However, scores can lie sometimes. Answers can be filled in by guessing, cribbing or any improper ways. Only practices and applications can really show examinees know about solutions and how well they can do.

Overall, I firmly conceive that pen and paper examination is not the best approach to assess educational achievement.

In the introduction , you express no view from anyone. ''Everyone knows that most of examinations for certificates or tests in school are all done by pen and papers.'' This sentence is sth everyone know

And the second sentence, I think it's not easy to understand and I don't know what you mean. Hmmm I think it's in some way not related to the topic

Mia in your opening statement, the paraphrase is incomplete. It does not include a reference to the point of view regarding the pen and paper exams. You only have 2 sentences when the minimum requirement is 3 sentences. This indicates a missing element in your paraphrasing. Let me give you a sample of a proper paraphrase for this topic. The sample I will give you is the template by which you should develop your essay discussions from this point on. Regardless of the topic, these elements need to be represented:

There is a common belief that the formal "pen and paper" exam does not accurately assess the educational attainment of a student. In this essay, I will be offering an insight into this point of view. Additionally, I will be offering my own opinion regarding this topic.

The opening statement has to accomplish 3 things. It has to indicate:
1. What is the topic for discussion?
2. Why is this topic important to discuss?
3. How will it be discussed?

The example above shows a properly developed paraphrased opening statement that clearly offers this insight in summarized form. No opinion must be given at the start because the justification for it requires a separate discussion. Thus, no opinions or direct answers are ever given in the paraphrased statement. However, an implied response is allowed.

Your second paragraph is so confusing, that it will affect your GRA score in a highly negative manner. Try to express yourself in short, simple sentences for now. Even though your third paragraph is a bit more understandable, the confusing discussion in the second paragraph is what will affect the overall lexical resource, coherence and cohesiveness, and GRA score in this essay and not in a positive manner.

The concluding statement does not properly wrap up the discussion. Again, the 3 sentence minimum requirement must be followed. It must represent:
1. The topic for discussion
2. The reasons discussed
3. A restatement of your personal opinion as the closing sentence.