hard work vs luck - become the person what you are trying to be, not by the luck

In our life, there are many factors that effect to our success. Maybe you are born with the gold spoon in your mouth, so you get the best conditions to easily succeed. But it is only basic foundation, not is a decisive factor to make you successful. To succeed, people have to work hard and continuously strive for mastery, overcome many difficult barriers to have what they want.

Firstly, all scientists became famous because they worked in their projects during a long period with hard work. Their invention couldn't be found by chance, or luck. I don't negate that some inventions founded with a few of luck, but this luck is also a result of hard work before.

Secondary, luck is something intangible so that we can't guarantee that it would come to us in the right time. If it doesn't work, it would be a great disappointment. Instead if you strive hard to achieve what you want, then your hard work will lead you to close with your final goal. In my personal experience, all my achievements were obtained by my hard work, not my luck. And I never did encounter any disappointments of missing my goals.

Thirdly, if you believe that hard work is the key factor for your success, surely you have many strategic plans for yourself to make it successful. Otherwise, just waiting luck, you will have no plan, no target to reach and gradually lose the sense of direction in your life.

In conclusion, every achievement are made by hard work. Luck can make you become successful faster and easier, but it is not the decisive factor. Only hard work makes you become the person what you are trying to be, not by the luck.

In our life, there are many factors that effectS our success. Maybe you are born with the gold spoon in your mouth, so you get the best conditions to easily succeed. But it is only basic foundation, not is a decisive factor to make you successful. To succeed, people have to work hard and continuously strive for masterING AND overcome many difficult barriers to have(GAIN) what they want.

Hi everyone,
Thank you so much for your valuable advice and feedback. Your helps are very important to me.
I'll try my best on writing next time.
Have a nice day !

When introducing the topic and expressing your opinion, you do this in the introduction . (redo this in the conclusion too)
Moving into body paras to justify your position and convincing the reader about why you hold that position. Take one specific example for each paragraph.

Noteworthy:
5 or 4 paragraphs?
Well, if you have a question that you don't like at all, then you can write with a 5-paragraph essay. You write one introduction, three bodies, and one conclusion. This can help you write more words, but some students, that I see, put grandiose ideas, by writing too many words.

Look at what Dumi suggests you with the structure (a 4-paragraph essay). With this structure, you are easy to develop your paragraph properly, one content paragraph for, and one againts. This is good for coherence and cohesion between the sentence-to-paragraph-to-essay construction, and for which in the five-paragraph structure this is weak.