TOEFL: All high school students should be required to study foreign languages

Dear all. Please, comment my next essay. All kinds of improvements and suggestions are wellcomed. Thanks in advance.

All high school students should be required to have three years of studying a foreign language. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

The practice of introducing foreign language classes in schools has acquired close attention in society. Some people believe that at high schools foreign language study should be compulsory and last for several years, since it provides ample opportunities for students. The other mainstream opinion is that language study should be optional and up to students. I agree with the statement that students should have mandatory foreign language classes for about three years and I would like to illustrate some reasons to support my viewpoint.

One of the most apparent advantages of studying a foreign language at high schools is the contribution made to the intellectual and spiritual development of a student. Such classes broaden students' outlook, foster intelligence growth, and develop their minds. Students gradually get acquainted with the culture, history, literature and other distinctive peculiarities of a foreign country through its language. Long-term study of foreign language raises the level of proficiency to the level, which enables students to read and understand sophisticated historical records and literary heritage of that nation. For example, I studied English before entering the university, but I was not very good at it. Only two years course of this language at high school increased my level to the point when I can read understand J. London and J. Steinbeck in original.

Moreover, foreign language proficiency primarily benefits students in the academic path. Students are not restricted only to data available in their native language. Instead, they have perfect opportunities to access works of literature and science offered in other languages. For example, most of azerbaijanian students while doing their research projects or assignments can easily exploit Russian and English sources since they have classes in these languages both at school and at university.

Finally, compulsory teaching of foreign languages simplifies students' tasks in the future, relieving them from necessity of making time on learning languages. In the age of globalization and active international integration, knowledge of foreign languages becomes more and more urgent. This is especially true for students, planning to proceed their education abroad or to work in fields, closely related to international communication and collaboration. However, after graduation, language study can turn into a hard and lingering process due to time shortage, as most of the students launch a work career. In addition, students may still need good language command as means of intercourse, even if they do not leave their country for any purposes. The best example is electronic communication in international chats and forums, which requires knowledge of at least one foreign language.

Based on aforesaid, I repute that at high schools students should be required to have three years of foreign language studying.

when you have a topic like this in TOEFL , you should follow this plan

introduction
1 st paragraph: reason or factore or advantage n*1
2nd paragraph: reason , factor or advantage n*2
3rd paragraph: reason , factor or advantage n*3
4 th paragraph :the refutation and counterargumentation;you have to talk about the
other position or opinion and give your point of view for this position.
conclusuion

so you have to change your introduction . you have to only state your opinion and in the 4 th paragraph you can say " some people believe that language should be optinal because not all students like studying language." this is the refutation. and then you give the counterargumentation by saying" i think the students in high schools can not distinguish what is beneficial for them to make a choice"

this is only an example.

you can also verify what am telling you, i am not an expert.

eign language classes in schools( YOU SHOULD GIVE ATTENTION TO THES DETAILS : HIGH SCHOOLS not schools) has acquired close attention in society( in society ; I FEEL SOMETHING IS WRONG HERE, I DO NOT WHAT .MAYBE YOU HAVE TO SAY " in THE society".

would like to illustrate some reasons to support my viewpoint. ( i was told that saying this , is wrong).

, which( i prefer using "THAT" enables ...)enables students to read and understand sophisticated historical records and literary heritage of that nation.

For example, I studied English before entering the university, but I was not very good at it. Only two years course of this language at high school increased my level to the point when I can read AND " understand J. London and J. Steinbeck in original.

instead, they have perfect opportunities to access works of literature and science offered in other languages. For example, most of azerbaijanian students while doing their research projects or assignments can easily exploit Russian and English sources since they have classes in these languages both at school and at university ( this example is very appropriate to the topic).

Based on aforesaid, I repute that at high schools students should be required to have three years of foreign language studying.( very short conclusion)

wow, no one grammar error. felicitation.

This is very good! You are one of those impressive bilingual people who can write in English better than most native speakers of English!
:-)

Kevin and Djanat, thank you for your feedbacks. They really helped me. I drew relevant conclusions from your comments and will try to avoid such mistakes in the future. Regarding the final part of the essay, it worried me a lot. I felt that it was short, but couldn't find the way to improve it.