Unanswered [3] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


Toefl ibt essay: Work in team or independently (preferable)



Coolmam9x 4 / 5  
Jun 14, 2011   #1
Task: Is it more important to be able to ework with a group of people on ta tem or to work independently? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.

My essay:

Nowadays, as the world is getting smaller, we need to be able to cooperate. Working in team is a necessary skill that every individual must master for success. Despite the importance of working in team, I still believe that the capability of working independly is more significant.

Of course, effective cooperation can make things easier and faster, but in many important cases when team-working is not possible, the ability to work alone will help. The apperant example is that there are a lot of tests that do not allow team-working. Let's imagine that you perform really well when you can discuss the problems with other people, but you have no experience of working alone, standardized tests such as SAT, TOEFL may be your nightmares. Testing is a very important aspect of life, and still the majority of tests do not allow you to work in team. Therefore, if you want to get brilliant achievements such as going to college, acing your school's final tests, you should consider learning to work on your own.

Moreover, the ability to work alone will help you increase your ability to work with other people. Working in team does not mean that you do not have to come up with your ideas. Everybody in a team must have his/her own opinion first, then discuss them with other members. When we work in team, we still think individually because our brain are not connected but separate. When everyone in a team can come up with his/her own ideas, working in team will definitely more effective.

In conclusion, working with a group a people and working individually are all important. Both skills are necessary for a successful life. Nevertheless, the capablity of working alone is the foundation for the skill to work in team and plays a significant role in a lot of situations.

EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Jun 15, 2011   #2
Hey, I like that argument! This is a meaningful essay, because not everyone would agree with your argument. Yet, it is a strong argument!

I feel that a sentence is missing from the end of the first paragraph. You acknowledged that cooperation is important, and then you mentioned that individual ability is still more important. After that, add a sentence to the end of the paragraph. Make it a thesis statement that expresses the main idea of the essay.

Try to capture your message in a single sentence and add it to the end of the first paragraph.

:-)

One more correction:
Working on a team does not mean that you do not have to come up with your own ideas.

Everybody on a team must ...


Home / Writing Feedback / Toefl ibt essay: Work in team or independently (preferable)
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Need professional help with your assignments? Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳