Unanswered [1]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


ESSAY about the IMPORTANT of LOYALTY in a FRIEND &the CIRCUMSTANCES that led them show LOYALTY



ngocnguyen16688 1 / 1  
Jul 17, 2015   #1
PLEASE help checking my grammar because I am an English learner. Thus, my grammar is very bad and I really need more help to improve it. Thank you so much. (I have to turn this in to get credit that is why PLEASE HELP ME)

PROMPT: Loyalty is an important quality in a friend. Write a five-paragraph essay about a friend who has shown loyalty to you. Explain why you consider loyalty to be important. Describe the circumstances that led your friend to show loyalty and how your friend's loyalty made you feel.

Loyalty in a Friend
Loyalty is an indispensable virtue in friendship. If we consider each other as friends, then we can be able to share and disclosure all the sadness, happiness, suffers, and secrets with each other. Nevertheless, the important thing here is both of us have to be trust and loyal by keeping our secret to ourselves and will not tell about the secrets to anyone. Talking is easy but acting is not. To find a loyal friend and have a loyal friendship are not the easy tasks. However, I feel very happy and lucky because I have found for myself a loyal friend, her name is Phuong. Our friendship is very intense, loyal, and close no matter what is happening. The most nature important and essential in friendship is always the loyalty from both sides and the feeling is incredibly happy and when someone has find for his or her a real friend is very; however, both friends have to experience the difficulties together in order to see who is loyalist.

Loyalty is a vital virtue in all relationships, especially friendship. A loyal friend will be need in order to share each other's secret, help for emergency, and advice for life when something happens suddenly no matter good or bad. It is very benefit for having a good friend. For instance, if we are angering, disappointing, or confusing about something, then we will have our good friend who will always be there when we need, listen to what we say, and back us up without any questions. In addition, by having true friend, our friend will put down all the untrue rumors about us; prevent them from spreading, and save us from a lot of troubles and annoyances. It will be very irritation when not having a true friend because imagine when we tell our friend something that supposed to keep secret between two of us, then we find out that our friend has told the whole school about it. Our feeling about ourselves during this situation would be very worse and crazy because we trusted a person we should not be trusted. Loyalty is a good trait to look for in a friend, but it is very hard and taking a lot of time to find a loyal friend in this world.

In order to find a loyal friend, everybody must have to take time, maturity, and go through many difficulties in life; thus, we can notice the signs of a loyal friend. I have been going through many difficulties together with my friends, and I finally find out Phuong is the only friend that I can consider as my loyal friend. I met Phuong when I was in eighth grade. We are together striving for academic and going to the same high school together. When we are freshmen at Rancho Alamitos High School, we meet some problems with our group of friend. This is the incident, which let me know who my real loyal friend is. Every single friend in my group is talking bad about me to another people in my high school. I cannot do anything else outside looking at single one of them leaving and keep talking bad about me. I can acknowledge my fault in that problem; however, they should not doing those kinds of thing to me because at least I am still their friend. I am the one who introducing them to my group, and now they betray me as if I have never doing anything for them. During that time, Phuong is the only one of my friend staying next to me, confiding, and encouraging me. She never leaves me alone because she knows exactly that I will have random thoughts in my mind. Phuong helps me concentrate back to school and believe in friendship one more time. She lets me know the feeling when having a real and loyal friend beside and a real close friendship. Not solely this problem occurs, but there are many more things have happen. However, Phuong still stays and never lets go of me. I will try my best to keep this friendship long lasting because I know Phuong is a loyal friend that I should cherish and respect. In my opinion, I would rather have only Phuong as my true loyal friend than a whole bunch of disloyal friends in my school.

The feeling when having someone as a loyal friend is very hard and difficult to express and describe. It is very delight when knowing and having many friends and it is very jubilant when known by everybody in school. Nevertheless, possessing for ourselves a loyal friend is always happier than having many friends but no one is truly loyal. For me, I feel very happy and lucky when I have Phuong as my loyal friend. I do not know what else I should desire because for some people, they do not even understand and experience what is a true friendship the entire of their life. Thus, I want nothing else beyond this loyal friend, Phuong. Phuong always be there for me and comfort me whenever I am down. She encourages me that I can do everything, increases my confident, and celebrates with me when I am in the ups of my life. Phuong is my best wish in all of my wishes about friendship. I am very thankful that I found a girl like her to be my true friend. I will cherish our friendship, hold her forever, and never let her go because I understand that a true friend comes once in a lifetime.

Loyalty is a significant characteristic that we should looking for when we are trying to find a true friend. A loyal friend is very reliable because he or she will not reveal the secrets that we told him or her before. Hence, we have the freedom of speech about everything in life without afraid of knowing by the third person. In addition, it is not easy to find a loyal and trustworthy friend in this world today because people are changing every day. That is why if anyone who has already found for him or her a true friend, then remember to respect and appreciate that friendship because it would be very tough to find another loyal friend again after losing it one time. Of course, for me, I will never let my one and only loyal friend go away because Phuong is all I need in my whole bunch of friends. One loyal friend, Phuong, is more than a billion disloyal friends. Overall, loyalty is what I consider as a vital virtue of a true friend or a long lasting friendship and I am assure that nothing can be compare with the feeling when having a loyal friend beside.

ritamaner - / 1  
Jul 17, 2015   #2
First would like to say, that i liked the essay very much. Here some mistakes i have noticed, but need to warn that i'm not the professional editor and use essay writer site usa for checking my grammar in the essays:

During that time , Phuong is the only one of my friend staying next to me, confiding, and encouraging me. - these parts are not uncoordinated:

During that time, Phuong was the only one of my friends was staying next to me, confiding, and encouraging me.
During this time, Phuong is the only one of my friends staying next to me, confiding, and encouraging me.

We are together striving for academic and going to the same high school together . - tautology, cut out one "together"
OP ngocnguyen16688 1 / 1  
Jul 17, 2015   #3
Thank you so much and I will change it before I turn it in. :D


Home / Writing Feedback / ESSAY about the IMPORTANT of LOYALTY in a FRIEND &the CIRCUMSTANCES that led them show LOYALTY
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳