Please Grade my Essay out of 12 and thanks I am an International student This is my SAT Essay:
SAT Essay 2007
Assignment:
How important is to seek the opinions of others when making significant personal decisions ?
Essay:
Without question, the most vital decision one can make is for him/ her. Though others opinions may swing ones initial thought. History, politic and Literature,have exemplified the power of making decisions without others assistance.
Sometimes, others opinions are stabs toward original, innovative and creative decisions especially when it comes to politic. History depicts the efficaciousness of following one's heart. One example is that of Jimmy Carter (U.S. President in 1970's) who was the one who took the initiative, regardless from opinion polls, political analysts and western governments by reconciling the biggest opponents in Middle East: Egypt and Israel. He led the high-tension zone to peace by pushing these two nations into truce negotiations which finish by signing Camp David treaty in 1979. Audiences all-over the world applauds such step in the way of peace which demonstrate his vision, awareness and long sight: A rehab that prevent people from the vows of war until the fall of 2000. Before this intervention, leaders and communities thought that peace cannot be established anymore especially after Yum Kippur war 1973 but Jimmy Carter proves that such sensible decisions must be taken with both responsibility and boldness, regarding others opinions. Thus, history proves that he is right. Second example is that during American Revolution in 18th century, American leaders choose to set off the war against Britain Empire after drafting the declaration of independence. Authors like Thomas Jefferson and Benjamin Franklin oppose the war as absurd because Britain was in the apex of power colonizing all over the globe (East Africa, South Africa, Australia and North America). But finally, history shows that their decision is perfectly correct.
The American dream or The Western Dream that many immigrate chased can never be reached with seeking mother, father, relatives and even friends' opinions. Such experience depends only on your determination, your ambition, your iron-will. It has nothing to do with other. No one can feel one's misery. Opinions can be deceptive and can keep you far away from your goal. But, for many a third world citizen, this experience worth it, no matter the hurdles, he make his choice and leave his wooden neck and go to the Promised Land. Malcolm X, one of the greatest African American activists in history was in fact an immigrant from Ghana , thus he becomes a minister ,a defender of human rights especially the right of blacks for a no-segregation society. Mario Balotelli, an Italian with African roots, reaches Europe coast in a commodity boat and now he is one of the best football players in the world what can they be if they remain in Africa? Did they will reach fame? "I don't think so». Sometimes choosing one's own road without influence is better then seeking others opinions based on old clichés and fear.
It's particularly doubtful and even dangerous to listen to others without a solid judgement that guild our decision and help us distinguish right from wrong. Without moral compass we can be lured by sins such as greed, vanity and self-congruatelary. Shakespeare's play "Macbeth" illustrates this point, when Lady Macbeth convinced her husband to kill the king. Macbeth refused at first but after he follows the lady's advices, commit the regicide and strip his sanity. This act never brings him a better life because he was wretched by hallucination and sleeplessness even after being a king after killing the king Duncan. A sense of guilt invaded him and might mares haunted his sleep making him remember bitterly the murdering, Just because he followed others advices.
SAT Essay 2007
Assignment:
How important is to seek the opinions of others when making significant personal decisions ?
Essay:
Without question, the most vital decision one can make is for him/ her. Though others opinions may swing ones initial thought. History, politic and Literature,have exemplified the power of making decisions without others assistance.
Sometimes, others opinions are stabs toward original, innovative and creative decisions especially when it comes to politic. History depicts the efficaciousness of following one's heart. One example is that of Jimmy Carter (U.S. President in 1970's) who was the one who took the initiative, regardless from opinion polls, political analysts and western governments by reconciling the biggest opponents in Middle East: Egypt and Israel. He led the high-tension zone to peace by pushing these two nations into truce negotiations which finish by signing Camp David treaty in 1979. Audiences all-over the world applauds such step in the way of peace which demonstrate his vision, awareness and long sight: A rehab that prevent people from the vows of war until the fall of 2000. Before this intervention, leaders and communities thought that peace cannot be established anymore especially after Yum Kippur war 1973 but Jimmy Carter proves that such sensible decisions must be taken with both responsibility and boldness, regarding others opinions. Thus, history proves that he is right. Second example is that during American Revolution in 18th century, American leaders choose to set off the war against Britain Empire after drafting the declaration of independence. Authors like Thomas Jefferson and Benjamin Franklin oppose the war as absurd because Britain was in the apex of power colonizing all over the globe (East Africa, South Africa, Australia and North America). But finally, history shows that their decision is perfectly correct.
The American dream or The Western Dream that many immigrate chased can never be reached with seeking mother, father, relatives and even friends' opinions. Such experience depends only on your determination, your ambition, your iron-will. It has nothing to do with other. No one can feel one's misery. Opinions can be deceptive and can keep you far away from your goal. But, for many a third world citizen, this experience worth it, no matter the hurdles, he make his choice and leave his wooden neck and go to the Promised Land. Malcolm X, one of the greatest African American activists in history was in fact an immigrant from Ghana , thus he becomes a minister ,a defender of human rights especially the right of blacks for a no-segregation society. Mario Balotelli, an Italian with African roots, reaches Europe coast in a commodity boat and now he is one of the best football players in the world what can they be if they remain in Africa? Did they will reach fame? "I don't think so». Sometimes choosing one's own road without influence is better then seeking others opinions based on old clichés and fear.
It's particularly doubtful and even dangerous to listen to others without a solid judgement that guild our decision and help us distinguish right from wrong. Without moral compass we can be lured by sins such as greed, vanity and self-congruatelary. Shakespeare's play "Macbeth" illustrates this point, when Lady Macbeth convinced her husband to kill the king. Macbeth refused at first but after he follows the lady's advices, commit the regicide and strip his sanity. This act never brings him a better life because he was wretched by hallucination and sleeplessness even after being a king after killing the king Duncan. A sense of guilt invaded him and might mares haunted his sleep making him remember bitterly the murdering, Just because he followed others advices.
