Increasing the minimum legal age for driving is the best way to increase road safe

road safety and age of the drivers

In this day and age, traffic has been increasingly becoming a major concern of many individuals. It is widely claimed that raising the minimum legal age for motorists and motorcyclists is the most effective method to improve traffic security. From my perspective, I am wholehearted in favor of this statement.

First and foremost, the primary justification behind my agreement is that the majority of youngsters are usually immature. In other words, they are likely want to show off themself in order to impress their peers by violating laws such as: wave in and out, drive without wearing helmet or run the traffic light, and seeming like it very cool. As a result, they have a tendency to break the rules more without thinking about consequences. Therefore, the proportion of fatality and mortality can undergo an uncontrolled leap. To illustrate, 60% patients' case who are meet accident in Bach Mai Hospital are caused by teenagers.

Nonetheless, another significant reason why I agree with this idea is teenagers are lack of driving experience and problem-solving skill. This could be explained by the fact that they tend to violate the traffic rules frequently. Providing that adolescents continues to allow traveling, a vast number of detrimental accidents will happen. As a consequence, it can lead to a severe effects on not only society but also teenagers mental health which can make an adverse impact on their future. For instance, some recent researches show that adolescents who caused an accident from an early age are usually obsessed.

In conclusion, the legal age of traffic participants should be increased so as to foster the road safety. In the future, more and more nations will be enforced strong policy in this field.

The most evident part of this presentation is that the writer clearly understood the topic and discussion requirements. While the opinion presented would have been stronger with summarized reasons present, it did not reduce the accurate and clear opinion shared with the examiner. Good job.

If there are areas that the writer needs to work on going forward, these would he in relation to his grammar range and sentence formations. Just because his ill formatted presentations can still be understood does not mean that he should be satisfied with a mere low but passing score. Not when with improvements to his sentence idea presentations, he can manage a for higher overall score. By completing more grammar range exercises and applying those lessons to his writing, he can easily boost his score to at least a 7.

@trlinh
Hi I just have grammar corrections in your essay
1. "To illustrate, 60% patients' case ...". This should be changed into "To illustrate, 60% of patient's cases who meet with accident in BM hospital were caused by teenager last year". I think you should add a specific time to make it clearer.

2. "are lack of" - Lack is a verb not adj

3. "Providing that adolescents continues to ...". The use of "providing that" is a little confusing to me so I suggest using " given the fact that". Plus, it should be "... adolescent continue to travel more and more"

4. "In the future..."
The last sentence clearly doesn't make sense, wrong in the meaning and has nothing to do with concluding your essay. You should change it or you'd better omit it.