Internet is just a tool based on different inventions such as the computer, electricity and language

Many people say that the internet is the most important invention ever. Do you agree or disagree with this and if not, what do you believe to be more important? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

I disagree because the internet isn't the most important invention ever, due to the disadvantages that it have the first is unsafe the second it is able to separate the people. also I think that the history have been a big number of inventions most important that the internet by way of example the electricity and language.

The first reason is that the internet is unsafe , because this tool in many cases is used for commit a crimes such as robberies and child pornography the previous opinion is based on the high levels of crimes that used the internet as tool, these are provided by internationals organizations each year.

Furthemore, I know that in many country the laws punish cybercrimes, in these always used the internet as tool by crime.

The second reason is the internet is able to separate the people, this affirmation have been a great topic of discusion for the internacional community because some people believe that the internet can help with our communication because is a means of comunication but, on the other hand some people believe that this means of comunication could have a relative comunication because the people always will remain more away.

Finally, I think that the internet isn't a most importan invention ever because this have many disadvantage and negative point also this tool is based on differents inventions such as the computer,electricity and language.

The main problem of this essay is that the paragraphs are too short. In order to have a complete paragraph you need a minimum of 3-5 sentences. While you present a number of valid ideas in support of your disagreeing stance, you neglected to discuss the side of the people who agree with the statement. It is important to discuss the agreeing side because as you mention their reasons for supporting it, you can also begin to disagree with their ideas in support of the internet as the most important invention ever. I believe that you can completely discuss this topic in 5 paragraphs. The first will be your introduction which presents the pro and con side. The second will be the side in support of the statement. The third, the side that disagrees with the statement. The fourth will be your personal opinion on the matter. The fifth will be the conclusion or restatement of the prompt and a reinforcement of your personal opinion. Written in this manner, the essay prompt will have been answered in a complete manner as all sides of the issue were discussed before your final opinion on the matter.

It would be best if your revised the paper at this point just to see how much better you can make the paper using the guide provided. Don't worry about the grammar problems. Once the content of the paper is fixed, the grammar will get fixed along with it :-)

I am agree with his suggestion, the porpuse of this essay is practice for toefl ibt, I have understood that the essay should have maximum 300 words. for that reason each paragraph is short.

Let me clarify a a point of confusion when it comes to essay writing. A simple essay format is composed of a single page, double spaced, with 1-inch margins all around. It is composed of 250-300 words. Those are the number of words you can fit on one page. An essay is composed of paragraphs, not simple sentences. Each paragraph is required to contain a minimum of 3 - 5 sentences to be considered a complete paragraph. Each page can accommodate up to 5 paragraphs. The sentence count is up to you. As long as you have at least 3 sentences, you have a complete paragraph.

Each paragraph needs to have a completely developed and supported idea within. Since your paragraphs are extremely short, you were not able to provide that within your sentences. You need to develop the sentences in order to create cohesive paragraphs that will prove you fully understood the provided prompt. I hope my advice helps :-)