Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 7


Internet and video games; ASSIGNMENT



oad94 1 / 4  
Dec 16, 2013   #1
New generation, many developments, young people are running after any new thing they hear about, and elder people barely can keep up with the new technology. This is what the Globalization is about. The most important things for the teenagers, which are, the Internet and video games.

Our life changed tremendously because of the Internet. Some practical benefits of the Internet are communication with people all around the world, it does not matter how far they are, you still can reach them, if they have Internet too. Although you can buy whatever you want online, you do not need to get out of your house whereas everything will come to you while you are just relaxing at your place. In contrast, it is not safe, you have to be so careful! In spite of this, there are many ways to know if you can trust the website or not.

Video games the teenager's lover. Many people find that video games are a threat to the youth of all around the world. But that is not the case! The problem contains in the parents surveillance, they should not allow their children to play any video games that not are suitable to their age, and set a limit for playing those games. In conclusion, today's society is in the middle of a technological boom. People can either choose to take advantage or disadvantage. The Internet and video games are very powerful tool. They have many advantages; however, people need to be extremely aware of the disadvantages as well.

handsome7boy 6 / 12  
Dec 16, 2013   #2
minor mistakes are apparent. "Video games the teenager's lover." this sentence is not true in terms of grammar rules. That should be changed to "Video games are the teenagers' lovers." anyway, i liked it, a good attempt.
OP oad94 1 / 4  
Dec 16, 2013   #3
Can u check the whole assay and check ithe grammer and the style word please
OP oad94 1 / 4  
Dec 16, 2013   #4
Please if u can correct the grammar and punctuation and everything today please
handsome7boy 6 / 12  
Dec 16, 2013   #5
avoid writing simple structures while you are writing an essay. So, your Mistakes are minor and at the same time, are a lot. "The most important things for the teenagers,

which are("which" isn't necessary), the Internet and video
games." u can write like this "The most important things for the teenagers are, the Internet and video
games." if you want your sentence be formal, write this " the most important things for teenagers are concidered to be Internet and video games" tho, there are many options which you can rely on. And there is a thing that i have to tell you, i'm not a specialist, tho, i can assess your essay in terms of academic one
OP oad94 1 / 4  
Dec 16, 2013   #6
Can take sentence by sentence and correct cuz my teacher said u have a lot oh grammar mistake and wrong word style and punctuation
Our life changed tremendously because of the Internet. Some practical benefits of the Internet are communication with people all around the world, it does not matter how far they are, you still can reach them, if they have Internet too. Although you can buy whatever you want online, you do not need to get out of your house whereas everything will come to you while you are just relaxing at your place. In contrast, it is not safe, you have to be so careful! In spite of this, there are many ways to know if you can trust the website or not.

Video games the teenager's lover. Many people find that video games are a threat to the youth of all around the world. But that is not the case! The problem contains in the parents surveillance, they should not allow their children to play any video games that not are suitable to their age, and set a limit for playing those games. In conclusion, today's society is in the middle of a technological boom. People can either choose to take advantage or disadvantage. The Internet and video games are very powerful tool. They have many advantages; however, people need to be extremely aware of the disadvantages as well.
dumi 1 / 6793  
Dec 18, 2013   #7
I know you are new to this forum. However there are a few forum rules you need to follow when you open your next thread ;

First have a meaningful title for your essay in the subject field (this one is attended by us). Then open your thread in the right forum category. This was opened in "Undergraduate" forum and we did transfer it to Writing Feedback which is the most appropriate forum for this essay. By following these rules you can earn more meaningful feedbacks from others too.


Home / Writing Feedback / Internet and video games; ASSIGNMENT
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳