Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 4


whether job is only for money or there are several other reasons for it..



prakrit 1 / 2  
Sep 30, 2013   #1
With increasing globalization and competitive market, the demand of job has been increasing rapidly. whether job is only for monetary purpose or there are other reasons behind it, is however, debatable issue. some people argue that the main purpose of job is earning money while others like me,think that there are several other reasons behind it such as; to gain experience, as interest and for contribution to society.

To begin with, job provides a quite new experience to the people. They have to bear the lots of responsibility and be co operative with the co-workers too. It gives them a new environment where they get a lots of interaction with the people with different ideas and thoughts with different backgrounds.

Secondly, people do jobs for the sake of interest too. They are interested to gain a new experience as they think that this will help them to tackle with the different problems which they face in their life. some people are also interested to get knowledge of all different kinds of jobs.

Many people do job for the sake of society and nation too. They contribute their earnings to the charitable trust and other social organizations. for instance, many employers of company provide the wholesome of money in orphanage home to help orphan children.

Hence, to put in a nutshell,although money is necessary for the livelihood, job is not done solely for earning purpose, there comes several reasons behind it like experience gaining, interest and for the sake of nation and society.

dumi 1 / 6793  
Sep 30, 2013   #2
With increasing globalization and competitive market, the demand of job has been increasing rapidly

.... I get what you try to mean, but it has not flown nicely :(
With increasing globalization effects, the job market has become extremely competitive and the demand for jobs too have grown rapidly.

whetherWhether job is only for monetary purpose or there are other reasons behind it, is however, debatable issue.

... well ... you have a poor link between this sentence and the previous one. Need to improve the connection between them.
Pahan 1 / 1824  
Sep 30, 2013   #3
they get a lots of interaction

they get lots of interaction / they get a lot of interaction

It gives them a new environment where they get a lots of interaction with the people with different ideas and thoughts with different backgrounds.

.... ideas and thoughts go very close and hence one word makes the other redundant.
It provides them with a new environment where they get lots of opportunities to interact with people of diverse ideas and backgrounds.

To begin with, job provides a quite new experience to the people. They have to bear the lots of responsibility and be co operative with the co-workers too. It gives them a new environment where they get a lots of interaction with the people with different ideas and thoughts with different backgrounds.

You need to support these reasons with specific examples. Then only the reader will be convinced.
OP prakrit 1 / 2  
Oct 1, 2013   #4
thank u very much,dumi and pahan for ur suggestions.i will try my best,not to make this type of mistakes in another essay.


Home / Writing Feedback / whether job is only for money or there are several other reasons for it..
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳