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IELTS WRITING TASK 1: LAND DEGRADATION - CAUSES AND EFFECTS



amurbleue 1 / -  
Jul 30, 2023   #1

LAND DEGRADATION in three regions



The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s.

The provided pie chart illustrates some major causes of the degradation of land used for agriculture, while the table describes the effects of these reasons on three areas of the world in the 1990s. Overall, the key factors leading to the problem are over-grazing, deforestation and over-cultivation. It also can be seen that Europe was most affected by land degradation among the three regions.

From the pie chart, it is clear that over-grazing is the biggest culprit for reducing land productivity, causing 35% of the degraded land. Deforestation accounts for 30% of the total, which is followed by over-cultivation at 28% and others at 7%.

Regarding the table, nearly a quarter of land in Europe was damaged, with deforestation as the major reason. During the same time frame, the figure of Oceania constituted 13%, which was mostly caused by over-grazing. Ranking the third, the percentage of unproductive land in North America was 5%, more than half of which was over-cultivation attributing to.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15385  
Aug 7, 2023   #2
The summary overview is good but needs to be corrected when it comes to the trending sentences. There should be 2 trending references. One for the pie chart and one for the table. These need to be clearly separated in the actual paragraph for clarity sake. The trending statement is a bit confusing to read.

You have to be consistent in your paragraph presentation. Never present a 2 sentence paragraph. The minimum scoring requirement is 3 sentences, no more than 5. It must be properly developed and not a run-on sentence. The essay is actually missing another paragraph. Since there are 2 images presented, this falls under the special presentation of 4 paragraphs. That allows for an extra, comprehensive comparison paragraph.


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