Unanswered [4] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


[TOEFL] learning about life by other experience or your own experience?



something 23 / 51  
Jan 17, 2014   #1
TOPIC : Some people believe that the best way of learning about life is by
listening to the advice of family and friends. Other people believe
that the best way of learning about life is through personal
experience. Compare the advantages of these two different ways of
learning about life. Which do you think is preferable? Use specific
examples to support your preference


People, since their were born through the end of life, have different ways to learn about life. While there are advantages to both learning about life by receiving knowledge from other people that they are relate with and from their own experience. In my point of view, learning from personal experience is more beneficial. This is because some problems can be fixed by our own experience and no one can tell you that who you are or what you want to be.

First of all, many people say that it is important that learning from the others experience helps you to overcome the problems. You can use the same methods that you were told to solve the problems. In contrary, the same difficulty may not be fixed by the same solution. For example, your aunt may told you that if you want be a smart person, you have to read a lot. Your aunt may be a smart person by reading, but reading might not a good way to be genius. You can try different ways to find the best way that you can be a smart person. Practicing frequently and learning from actual situation might be the best way that you can be professional. To overcome something may be use different methods to achieve. You have to find your own way by using your experience

Moreover, it is good to get advice from people you relate with but you could not be told to be something by others suggestion. For instance, You may interesting in art, you love to draw, but your teacher tell you that you should be a scientist because you have high score at science. This advice is good, but it cannot define what you want to be. You can do variety activities to find something you like and use these experiences to decide that what you want to be by using your own.

In conclusion, it is a lot benefits that you get suggestion from people you love, but I personally think that the best way to learn about life is by learning from personal experience because you have to have your own experience to decide which one is the best solution for you or what you want to be. I always consider something by using my own experience first.

Pahan 1 / 1824  
Jan 17, 2014   #2
People, since their were born through the end of life, have different ways to learn about life.

....Wrong grammar :( You have to rephrase this sentence .... your idea is not at all clear to the reader :(
Also follow this approach which dumi suggests for the introduction of this task. It's very logical and would help you earn marks;
dumi 1 / 6795  
Jan 18, 2014   #3
This is exactly what others are doing here by giving their comments. It is our pleasure to help you get a better score at the exam :)

Let's take a look at your intro once again;

It seems you are attempting to follow the structure we suggest you. However, your sentences tend to confuse the reader as they are not at all clear. Do not construct complicated sentences. Write short and clear statements limiting one idea per sentence. Clarity comes above anything else. Once you get a hang of this task, you can start writing more complicated sentences.


Home / Writing Feedback / [TOEFL] learning about life by other experience or your own experience?
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Need professional help with your assignments? Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳