As the light begins to dim, Faith.

As we grow older, our thinking begins to fade -- we had never expected it would be so. It seems as if life before us is playing itself out on some 3D screen. It's a movie and we have no part in it.

But there is this person inside, the one watching. What of him? When the only thing you feel are the discomforts arising from little tasks, yet to be done. Proddings, they seem from nature. Somehow it doesn't seem acceptable. You know you can think, not just in the way you used to. These too are your own thoughts, after all, the ones about your isolation.

You've heard, also seen, the elderly when you were yourself growing up, spend their time in some serene way. Not troubled by this emptiness bothering you now. What is it that was on their minds, you find yourself wondering? Why cannot it happen with you as well. Faith. That's what it was mostly about, they said. Why do you not have faith, you wonder ?

Faith seems like some candle-flame. Each person with his own little light. Some burning brighter than others. It's when they come together, and each lets his own light shine, no one can tell how much of their own is causing the brightness, bathing them all. For the time, it is their own light illuminating everything.

I sit now in the dim circle of my flame. Darkness presses around me overpoweringly. I recognize those whose minds too must have lost its vigor like mine. We look wistfully at the younger ones, doing meaningful things, a despair comes upon us. Of a life, we missed out on perhaps ?

Peering into the darkness beyond. Resolutely steeling ourselves, we know that is where the direction lies. It would help so much, if we were to occasionally acknowledge each other.

It is very difficult to understand this essay and your view. It look like deep deep thought.

Yeah, that is the worst... it's bad enough that the body grows old, but the mind, too? Not fair.

hey, when I saw thew title of this, I thought you meant faith dims as the light dims. Now I see that you mean faith becomes more important as the light dims.

Well, this life dream we are sharing is one that occurred naturally, so I do have faith in other such dreams. Row your boat!

I recognize those whose minds too must have lost its their ...

I sometimes experience exactly the same feeling. As like life is rushing by leaving me, the passive observer, outside. I cannot reach and subdue breakneck speed of life, get myself involved. Not my faith which is at times seemed to be blowed out by gusts of utter despair, and not the faith of others that are even wanner than my own, but my perseption that I have to struggle for my place, for my ego, desire to prove that I'm able to change things to the better help me not to stand aside of the unceasing course of life. May be this is what called faith or dreams, I cannot comprehend completely, and this makes me even more confused. My life is a constant battle for not being pushed out, battle of my thoughts.

If you can experience it as something on a 3d screen, you can concentrate on the energy centers where people meditate. Kundalini Yoga is about the chakras, and Taoist meditation is about the "elixer fields"... when we stop getting caught up in the light show on the screen, we can concentrate on soft, long inhalations and loose lungs, penetrating relaxation and a fire in the abdomen, energizing us. Get disillusioned about the show on the screen, and it is possible to keep the attention fixed on those energy centers.

For many people, the practice of meditation is the solution to existential problems. Swallow, and follow the saliva down to the fire in the abdomen, and the limbs relax as all energy condenses at that centerline. Long inhalations, and you drink the energy in.

When energy is abundant, everything is blissful. That's why we feel tense when we are cold and relaxed when warm (heat is energy). And that is why a hand massaging a shoulder causes deep relaxation (adds energy). So, we feel great when we have enough energy, and the first step is to stop letting the attention get taken away by the images on that 3d screen!!! :-)

Kevin, you know so much about Yoga and meditation!


I completely agree, but:


this is the hardest part. Yoga is unfamiliar field to me, but if I understood correctly one should energize herself. I didn't know techniques of doing this - generating energy to myself. My main source of energy, at times unreliable, is my surrounding -- things and people around me. I get energy by communicating. When I run into a positive person, or read thoughtful novel (not necessarily with happy ending) or poem I experience the flow of energy, and hence, raise of mood and vice versa.

May be I should go deeper into Yoga :)

Yeah, that is what Dr. Yang says!

This is what I am trying to learn ymaa.com/articles/qigong-meditation/embryonic-breathing
There are books and DVDs, if this seems to have the ring of truth for you.

Yes, it does. I would appreciate if you can help to find some of them online, as they might not be available in local markets. :)

You can find them on the YMAA website and on ebay! All you need is one book or video to get started.

After I learned about enough material to fill one or two college classes, it really changed my practice in a big way. Most people practice meditation by paying attention to the way the abdomen expands on the inhalation to make room for the diaphragm moving down, but in some traditions like this one the practitioners figured out how to use a technique called "reverse breathing" where the abdoment withdraws on every inhalation. It helped me, so I tell people about it.