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Living alone decision. It may be positive for more savings or just bring depression and loneliness.



Hadiyati Fudla 9 / 13  
Apr 7, 2016   #1
TASK 2
In recent times, many people are making the decision to live alone.
What are the causes of this?
Does it have positive or negatives effects on society?


Undoubtedly, enjoyable life span is the immense desire for every dweller, and those individuals have their own method to pursue it. For some, the best technique is to live alone without any relations. This decision can cause by their personality and their career. Moreover, it will bring positive impact like more savings and the demerit such as depression.

There are, at least, two major reason why people choose to being alone until the rest of their life. First and foremost, it is their life perspective. When they have an introvert personality, they will tend to avoid a social interaction and prefer to live without life companion. Secondly, a career path will cause a lonelyness option to some folk as well. A labour who has a high mobility in job will be distrupted if they have an obligation to be along with their family. Ultimately, people will vote to be unmaried and thrilled their choice.

Furthermore, both merit and drawback will be rendered by this choice. It will cause someone's saving increase. As such they only have to spend money for their own personal needed, not for children, more furnitures, and so on. Otherwise, the outrageous effect will obtain a deep depression. This is because, phychologically, individuals as a homo sapiens need other people to support each others.

To sum up, personal character and job matter can be a predominant factors leading a decision to live alone. Beside it can jump dwellers' savings, these action can fall them into the depression valley. Where possible, I highly likely recommend to the inhabitants to make a balance life even they choose to be a single one.

ichanpants89 16 / 742  
Apr 7, 2016   #2
Fudla, I notice some improvements towards your writing essay, particularly in the flow of ideas and how you organized this essay. Yet, some sentences are little bit confusing due to inappropriate collocation and it seems to be forced to put there. Moreover, when you try to emphasize each supporting idea in the essay, you mentioned 'first and foremost', then 'secondly', which will be considered as a mess-order. Then, to make it in a well-manner, it should be the at the same form, for example, 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'thirdly' and so on. Now, the corrections below is regarding to your grammatical and spelling errors.

- when they have an introvert personality
- this decision can cause by their... This decision can affect their personality and their career..
- two major reason(s)
- it will cause someone's saving increase.... it will increase someone's saving..
- thrilled by their choice.
- own personal needednecessity.
- more furnitures
- the outrageous effect will obtain a deep depression (confusing, so the effect will be depressed? not the person?)
- a predominant factors

Spelling errors:
- lonelyness = loneliness
- distrupted = disrupted
- unmaried = unmarried
- phychologically = psychologically

I think that for spelling errors, that is the thing that should be easily avoided by using computer (ms.word), it has spell-checker feature.
I hope in your upcoming essays, you will able to harness it properly in order to reduce your spelling mistakes.

Keep writing and break a leg! :)
justivy03 - / 2265  
Apr 7, 2016   #3
Hi Hadiyati, as I am always honest to my reviews here on EF, the introduction in this essay is quiet confusing, the ideas does not correspond pretty well.

Here's a suggestion.
A longer life span is an ultimate dream for all of us and different people have different means of pursuing it. For some, to live alone is the best way to live, this decision, however, can cause a huge gap between their social life as well as their own personal life. The good thin is, they will be able to save a lot more than people who lives within a relationship.

Now, the 2nd paragraph is not as bad, however, below are a few enhancements;

- to beinglive alone untilfor
- avoid a social
- a loneli ness
- option to some folk as well.

There you have it Hadiyati, I hope you try the suggested corrections above in order come up with a better and polished essay.
liv_ryu 13 / 21  
Apr 7, 2016   #4
Hi Hidayati, let me give you some suggestions:
1. Actually, there are several inappropriate and confusing sentences, ensure that you are totally understand about your essay.
2. There are so many

will

in your essay, maybe you are able to change into be + going + to
3. Make sure the appointment of comma
For example : This is because, phychologically, individuals as a homo sapiens need other people to support each others.
This is because individuals is psychologically a homo sapiens who need others for supporting


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