Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 5


Magic Lu Chen - essay help



fl415 3 / 2  
Dec 27, 2008   #1
Magic, many people will think about Harry Potter; but they will say this is movie and it's fake. But when I heard of this word, I will think of Lu Chen. Every week, there is a guy stand on stage waving his hands and saying: "It's the magical moment!" then the clause is everywhere. He perfumes magic and no one stops screaming. He is Lu Chen who also a magician. Maybe not much Americans know about him. But still, how can he affect me? He is a perfumer and I am a student. But his manner and words affect me in many ways.

I still remember first time I saw him on TV he was perfuming his magic too. He looks different from everyone around him. It's not just because he is a perfumer, also his characteristics. The actions he takes are neat and easy to understand. The way he speaks makes the show more interesting and everyone will fall in the world he creates at that moment. He is not doing tricks, but magic. After this time, I started to learn magic and study more about him.

Most people think magic are use for shows and girls. But Lu Chen doesn't agree to that. He always said magic is a tool for people to walk out of their own world and increase their confidence. It's like a window which let people to find a way to communicate with others. During my freshman year, I am kind of autistic person but not really. I scare to communicate with people because I don't really know English when I first came here.

I always saw his show and he perfumed each magic calmly and relax. It seems like he never learn or practice to do any of them. But he has born with it. I think I can do magic too. But magic sounds easy but it's hard to perfume. I always fail to perfume magic which is lack of practice. I think this is easy after I knew the secret and just practice few times. But this will not work; it will only make the show become tutorial. Every time I felt sad, I always remember Lu Chen said: "It take one minute on the stage but ten years of practice." I realize there is nothing can do without practice. Success doesn't take one day. Even though he perfume the magic easily, but how many times had he practice behind the stage? He always told people to practice, not only three or four times. It's hundred and thousand times. There is no other way through success but only practice.

Lu Chen, the only Taiwanese magician who won the world championship. He had gone through many difficult time of practicing all kinds of routines. Even thought he is a very famous internationally, but he still practice any basic moves during his life. Every time I saw his show on TV, I was so amazed by his magical power but most is his working process behind the stage. He taught me so many things by words that he said. The most important thing I also know is anything in this world has to go through practice or efforts. There is no such easy way to get to success, but only practice.

kids_jessy 8 / 34  
Dec 27, 2008   #2
Hi, I think it would be better for you to provide the essay prompt :)

Also, I suppose you are referring to "performed, performing, performer" instead of "perfumed, perfuming, perfumer"??

Yup, do a check of your essay and change accordingly :)
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Dec 27, 2008   #3
Magic, makes many people think about Harry Potter; but they will say this is a movie and it's fake. But when I heard this word, I will think of Lu Chen. Every week, there is a guy who stands on stage waving his hands and saying: "It's the magical moment!" then the applause is everywhere. He performs magic and no one stops screaming. He is Lu Chen who is also a magician. Maybe not many Americans know about him. But still, how can he affect me? He is a performer and I am a student. But his manner and words affect me in many ways.

I still remember the first time I saw him on TV. He was performing his magic. He looked different from everyone around him. It's not just because he is a performer, also his characteristics. The actions he takes are neat and easy to understand. The way he speaks makes the show more interesting and everyone will fall into the world he creates at that moment. He is not doing tricks, but magic. After this, I started to learn magic and study more about him.

It's like a window which lets people to find a way to communicate with others.

Do you really mean to say that you have autism? Are you trying to write "artistic":
During my freshman year, I am kind of autistic person but not really.

I was afraid to communicate with people because I didn't really know English when I first came here.
EF_Constance - / 136  
Dec 27, 2008   #4
Good essay! I would add an introductory paragraph about your topic, why you are writing about Lu Chen, and your main topic. That will allow the reader to get a taste of what you are about to tell them. Also, you missed a great deal of commas (especially before the word "but"). You could also make a more complex sentence by adding a ; to connect two sentences. I was a bit confused when you said that you were "kind of an autistic person". I think you meant to say artistic. Good luck!
mikedogg90 3 / 6  
Jan 9, 2009   #5
Good influential essay, I'm not fond with your system of writing, but I can sense your emotion with Lu Chen. Heres some of my suggestions?:

Magic. Many people would think about Harry Potter; but they would only believe that this movie is it's fiction. But when I hear this word, I think of Lu Chen. Every week, a man standing on stage waves his hands saying, "It's the magical moment!" followed by a raging applause(?).


Home / Writing Feedback / Magic Lu Chen - essay help
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳