Please tell us what led you to select your anticipated academic program and/or NYU school/college, and what interests you most about your intended discipline.
Education is not really necessary. I have always known this, but nevertheless, I pursued education. My dad was the one who taught me both. He, as someone never learned how to write his name, became a successful businessman and brought me to America. It was that moment I wanted to be a successful businessman just like him. Though, he is a living example one can succeed without education, we both agree Stern School of Business provides the education I need to succeed but to surpass him.
If you had the opportunity to spend one day in New York City with a famous New Yorker, who would it be and what would you do? (Your New Yorker can be anyone -past or present, fictional or nonfictional - who is commonly associated with New York City; they do not necessarily have to have been born and raised in New York.)
Hey Jackie. Yes, it's that Jackie, Jackie Chen. Perhaps the most well known Chinese in western culture. We wouldn't do anything fun, because we would be running away from a bunch of fans. Besides that, I would like him to introduce me to as much famous people as possible in one day, get a business card of everyone. Why? Because I will need it when I graduate. While Stern School will prepare me for business, a strong social network helps. This is something you don't have to learn in a classroom.
My ideas changed completely, so anyone know how is the New Yorker has the most powerful social network?
What did you do this summer?
I took Calculus II at a community college and worked at a restaurant. I also took and pass the IL Food Service Sanitation Manager Certification class. Other than these, I got a chance to learn golf and tennis from the salesman of Golden Food Company. Also, a sushi chef from a nearby Japanese restaurant taught me how to fish.
Education is not really necessary. I have always known this, but nevertheless, I pursued education. My dad was the one who taught me both. He, as someone who never learned how to write his name, became a successful businessman and brought me to America.It was at that moment I wanted to be a successful businessman just like him. Though, he is a living example of one who can succeed without education, we both agree Stern School of Business provides the education I need to succeed but to surpass him.
The stuff in red I suggest you add in and I'm a little confused about what you mean when you say that the school will prodide the education you need to succeed but to surpass him.
Overall, it seems strong but there is a level of cockiness but I suppose that goes along with your character so it works. I also think the bit about the social networking was a good idea b/c it's definitely true and I don'tknow how many people would actually point that out. If you have the time, can you skim over my commonapp essays? They're kinda long but I need to decide which one's better. Loads of honest critism would be appreciated.
I change Jackie Chen to Hilary lol
This might be dumb, but I thought his name was Jackie Chan? Or are you referring to someone else? That confused me a little.
Overall, everything is well written. The first and the third reponses are a little boring to read though, and the second is a little too informal in my opinion. I would try to liven it up without sounding improfessional.
To start off the "Why NYU" response by saying that education isn't necessary kind of defeats the point of applying to NYU. If you don't need an education, why pursue it? It just doesn't really make sense.
The summer response is just a bunch of statements thrown together, so maybe focus on one particular thing you did? I'm not really sure how to fix it, but it needs something.
Sorry that this was so harsh! I would appreciate it if you looked at my essays!! Thanks!
saygoodbyevince
thanks, but you aren't harsh enough! lol
Chan and Chen is the same word in Chinese. I guess I should have used Chan.
anyway, I was sayiny, as in my dad's case, education isnot neccessary. BUT I'm sure it would helped him a lot if he had education.
and I was trying to catch reader's attention... guess that /failed...
about the summer,
Does NYU only wants to know one thing I did and then explain it? or they want a list of things I did...
Hi! I'm applying to NYU too!
Education is not really necessary.I wouldn't start off with that sentence. I see the effect you're going for, but you're applying to a college to get an EDUCATION, so it would be best to not write that. I have always known this, but nevertheless, I pursued education. My dad was the one who taught me both. both what? this will need clarificationHe,as someone who never learned how to write his name,My father never learned how to write his own name, yet he became a successful businessman and brought me to America. It was from that moment on I wanted to be a successful businessman just like him. Although he is a living example that one can succeed without education, we both agree that Stern School of Business provides the education I need to not only to succeed but also to surpass him.
Hey Jackie. Yes, it's that Jackie, Jackie Chan , the most well known Chinese in Western culture. We wouldn't do anything fun , this is a question where you can answer it and let your imagination run free. Saying that you won't do anything fun is not the way to go; you want to show them your ideal day. because we would be running away from a bunch of fans. Besides that, I would like him to introduce me to as much famous people as possible in one day, get a business card of everyone.This idea might seem a bit...weird. I mean, it's different, but I don't think it's different in a good way... Why? Because I will need it when I graduate. While Stern School will prepare me for business, a strong social network helps. This is something you don't have to learn in a classroom.
let your imagination run free on this question. and if there's anyone with a strong social network, try donald trump or someone along those lines.
I took Calculus II at a community college and worked at a restaurant. I also took and pass the IL no abbreviations Food Service Sanitation Manager Certification class. Other than these, I got a chance to learn golf and tennis from the salesman of Golden Food Company. Also, a sushi chef from a nearby Japanese restaurant taught me how to fish.
Best of luck to you!
Hi,
I think they are all great. But I think education is neccessary. I think you should change to higher education. Otherwise, good work!
Can someone look at my essay? I need to submit today.
"Need major help on Davidson honor code short essay, please? :)"
