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IELTS task2: man-made activities are making global temperatures higher



Annie97 3 / 10  
Jan 15, 2020   #1

global warming and human activities



There is growing evidence that man-made activities are making global temperatures higher.
What might be the man-made causes of temperatures rising? How should we deal with this problem?


It is proved that human activities lead to global warming, and the cause of this phenomena is mostly the emission of greenhouse gas. To solve the problem of rising temperature, we have to lessen the emission of greenhouse gas, especially CO2, and there are two aspects to consider: government and individual.

Since industrialisation, the emission of CO2 has been getting higher and higher, and thus the global temperature is risen to the extent that climate change is threatening all countries. Factories and transportations are two main sources of greenhouse gas. The other industry that generate a huge amount of greenhouse gas is livestocks since human beings become more craving for meat and dairy products. In short, the human needs cause those industries to happen, and there is no limit to their development so that human beings and all the other animals are suffering from the destroyed environment.

It is impossible to stop all factories and transportations. Instead, the government should invest in green energy that does not require petrol and other resources and thus generate CO2. A stricter regulation on how much greenhouse gas is allowed to be emitted by factories should also be considered. While the government is making new policy, we as individuals can change our lifestyle to lessen the greenhouse footprints: eating less meat and taking public transportation. Boycotting companies that are not willing to devote to solve global warming is another effective way everyone can do.

In conclusion, human activities are very likely to generate greenhouse gas and therefore make global temperature higher. Government should take the lead to solve the problem, and we as individuals should also put efforts to prevent it from getting more serious.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15384  
Jan 15, 2020   #2
Your body of paragraphs are acceptable. But there is a problem with your introduction and conclusion. Neither properly paraphrase the given discussion. Let me show you an example of how this can be done more properly:

Introduction:
It is said that there is Increasing proof that the activities created and participated in by man have had an impact on the international climate. There are several reasons that this has happened. This essay will present a few of the reasons for the increasing global weather conditions and suggest some easily accomplished solutions to the situation.

The introduction should merely paraphrase the following:
1. The topic for discussion
2. The reason for the discussion
3. The instruction for the discussion

After that, the conclusion summarizes the content of the essay by presenting the following:
1. A restatement of the discussion problem
2. Summary of reasons and solutions
3. Closing sentence

Conclusion:
Based on the aforementioned presentations, it is easy to see how the climate is directly affected by the movement of society. As such, certain steps can be taken to help alleviate the situation such as ... Once these solutions are put into place, the increasing worldwide thermal reading can be decreased.
OP Annie97 3 / 10  
Jan 17, 2020   #3
Thank you! That is really helpful. I will practice how to paraphrase according to you suggestion!


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