Map of Garlsdon Town; industrial and residential sectors and facilities; IELTS

The below scheme shows a detailed map of Garlsdon Town with its relations to different industrial and residential sectors and facilities, and 2 proposed locations for eventual supermarket in this town.

According to the map, the S1 site situated in the peripheral rural area of the town, while S2 site in Garlsdon town centre within a no traffic zone area.

S1 site is in proximity of Hindon city in its 12 km distance and 10000 populations, while the S2 site is in a way of Cransdon in its 25 km distance and Bransdon in its 16 km distance. The population for the Cransdon and Bransdon is 29000 and 15000 persons, respectively.

While the S2 site is situated in the half through way of the 2 main industrial zones in the Garlsdon town, the S2 site is close to one of these zones.

There is a main railway, which passes through the Garlsdon town, and both S1 and S2 sites have the same remoteness to this railway.

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  Map of Garlsdon
  

For clarity, use "the" each time:

According to the map, the S1 site situated in the peripheral rural area of the town, while the S2 site in Garlsdon town centre is within a no traffic zone area.

The S1 site is in proximity to Hindon city, ...

There is a main railway, which passes through the Garlsdon town, and both the S1 and S2 sites have the same remoteness to this railway.

You did a good job with a difficult assignment. Some of your sentences are hard to understand but this kind of thing is hard to write about. When you do tasks like this, always try to make short sentences that give only one piece of information. Take your time, and use as many words as you are allowed. Explaining a chart requires a lot of words, so go slowly, and keep sentences simple.