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Material on the internet should be censored or controlled to protect the public.



enzymhemmung 2 / 3  
May 27, 2015   #1
Oh jeah, I just found this forum and hope that you can help me with my essays. My English sadly is not the best but I strongly trying to improve my language skills. As I study English by myself could you please help me and read over my essay? If someone learns German at school (my mother language) feel free to ask me for help!

In my opinion material on the internet should not be censored or controlled to protect the public. Of course the public has to be protected from illegal activities, but there are better possibilities to do that than censoring the internet! One principal reason for the success of the internet was always the freedom of speech and therefore I think it is rather important to protect the internet from getting censored or controlled.

Material on the internet should not be controlled because it is impossible to control any person surfing on the internet. There are just too many people acting in the internet that the police will not be able to control everybody. Thus I think it is much better to invest more time in developing security technologies like firewalls and security certificates on internet sites! Additionally it is important to inform society in particular children how to behave in the internet. Parents and teachers should explain and emphasise the dangers of the internet very early to their children.

Another reason not to censorship the internet is that there is no kind of appropriate institution which could do this job. In which country should the institution be located and who should work for it? Each country tries to do things for their own advantage and thus I think it is very dangerous to give one institution the power to censor such an important medium like the internet is. There are many worse examples what is going to happen if a government starts controlling the internet. For example like in China where people are not allowed to use facebook. Further governments and their politicans would try to enhance their power by censoring and controlling political enemies and people with another opinion than their own.

In conclusion there are much better methods to protect people in the internet than censorship. Moreover it is very dangerous to control the internet as there will be always people who are trying to enhance their power by censoring things in the internet. The Freedom of Speech is very important for the internet and a crucial element of its success.

I am really thankful for your help!!!!

Far 2 / 1  
May 27, 2015   #2
Dear friend,
Your writing is very good grammatically, while I think you'd better extend the vocabularies used in writing.

Please find my comments as follows:

Of courseIt is true that the public has to be protected from illegal activities, but there are better possibilities to do that than censoring the internet! One principal reason for the success of the internet washas been always the freedom of speech and therefore I think it is rather important to protect the internet from getting censored or controlled.

Another reason not torejecting the internet censorship is that there is no kind of appropriate institution which could do this job.
Each country tries to do things for their own advantage and thus I think it is very dangerous to give one institution the power to censor such an important medium like the internet is .

For example like in China where people are not allowed to use facebook. Furtherand governments and their politicians would try to enhance their power by censoring and controlling political enemiesthe oppositions and people with another opinion than their own.
Trias 23 / 27  
May 27, 2015   #3
Hi @enzymhemmung, please find my feedback below.

- Pay attention to your punctuation marks (comma, full stop)
In my opinion material, on the internet should not be censored or controlled to protect the public.

- Overall, your grammar is already good and the idea in this essay can be understood easily as it is logical and flow nicely. However, you could enhance your writings in the future by using more advanced vocabularies and idioms.

Good luck!
OP enzymhemmung 2 / 3  
May 27, 2015   #4
Thank you very much! You can't imagine how much you help me with your correction!


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