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Men & women in future education in Britain (IELTS -Graph)



noorkhan 1 / 1  
Jan 14, 2013   #1
Dear sir,
I need your feedback regarding the blow chart illustration.I am preparing for IELTS exam next month.unfortunately,i am not able to attach the bar graph.

Thanks

( The graph illustrates the number of men and women in future education in Britain in three different periods. It shows how many men and women were studying as part-time or full-time at the particular period of time. The graph also shows the increase and decrease in the number of women and men in those certain years.

Firstly, the value of part-time workers shown on the graph has some variations. In the year 1970 to 1971 there were one million of men studying part-time ,while the number of women was approximately 750 thousand. After ten years in 1980 to 1981 there was a decline in the number of men and increase in the number of women that made both the categories equal in number. In 1990 to 1991 women studying part-time climbed to the highest level of one million and fifty thousand while the number of men did not show any significant increase.The other part of the graph is about the full-time studying men and women at those particular years and it shows lesser number of both the genders as compared to the part-time.It started with number of men in 150 thousand and one hundred thousand of women in 1970 to 1971.Both men and women studying full-time increased steadily and leveled in the year 1990 to 1991.

To summarize, there were more part-time men and women studying in Britain then the full-time at those particular years. The number of women increased significantly in the part-time category as compared to those of the men.While, full-time students were lesser but steadily increased and leveled in the year 1990 to 1991.)

dumi 1 / 6795  
Jan 14, 2013   #2
It's good if you included the prompt when you made the post. That's very helpful for you to receive relevant comments on your writing. :)

It shows how many men and women were studying as part-time or full-time at the particular period of time.

It illustrates how many men and women were studying as part-time or full-time during the period of review.

To summarize, there were more part-time men and women studying in Britainthen the full-time at those particular years.

The highlighted part is very confusing. I think you should rephrase this line.
OP noorkhan 1 / 1  
Jan 16, 2013   #3
Great...thank you very much.
ntdang92 3 / 2  
Jan 16, 2013   #4
Hey noorkhan, in task 1, you do not need to summarize so you may concentrate on body paragraph to compare selected categories


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