Music at school. Give your opinion about it.

Do you think all students should have to study music?

Music, throughout centuries, has played a crucial role in human's spiritual life. For this reason, in terms of education, music is taught as an important subject at school.There for those, however, who feel music is a subsidiary subject claimed that it is no use studying music and abolish it at school. To my way of thinking, I am inclined to the first former.

To begin with, it is widely believed that not only is music a spiritual expression but also a soul healer for students beside most stressful lessons at school. In practice, students are always depressed by a variety of complicate assessment tests given by teacher or even some students are forced to learn around the clock without being rested.In these cases, students are under the pressures that their parents put on them with the hope that they could be excellent at school. For these reasons, they should be allowed to relax and dive in the rhythm in music lessons at school,those which could soothe their depression and heal their soul.These facts that, by studying music and learning to play musical instruments at school, students can ease their pressure and improve their life of spirituality.

Furthermore, by studying music at school, some people could find their talents in music and pursue it.This is shown by the fact that professors believe that it is essential to find young talents by the observations on their daily life, that it is in fact, almost entirely of their time is in school. That is to say, school education must consist music as a compulsory subject in order to discover music potential in students and therefore music educators could easily facilitate their ability to be improved, that considerably influence their future career.

There are those who argue, on the other hand, that music is a redundant subject as it is abolished in some schools. It can not be denied that for some students who do not have a taste for studying music would find it time-consuming to study this subject at school as these times could be spent on their favorite subject.As a result, in some school, studying music may not be required or there may be no music class at all. Nonetheless, these examples are not norm as music is still a favorite subject for most students.

Taking these points into consideration, I would say that the importance of music in schools is unchangeable since its enormous benefits for students.Needless to say, music is seemed as a spiritual healer for students who are frequently under the pressure at school.

(P/s: actually the question of the essay is"In some schools, students must study music and learn to play a musical instrument. In other schools, studying music may not be required or there may be no music classes at all. Do you think all students should have to study music? Support your opinion with reasons and examples.". Thank you for spending time on reading my essay!)

Hi, I am not sure if I should be reviewing this as a Task 2 IELTS essay or as a simple English essay writing exercise. I will err on the side of caution and simply review this as an English writing exercise. If you wrote the essay for a Task 2 practice test, then the same grammar review will apply anyway. Kindly let me know what kind of exercise the essay was written for next time. It will help me give you a more comprehensive review of your work.

Please be conscious of the differences in the American and UK English spelling. The UK version favors the use of the letter U in most of their spelling formations so favorite becomes favourite in UK English. You really have a problem with typing it seems. You often forgot to use the space bar between the end of the previous sentence and the start of the next one. It created some difficulty in reading your work as it appeared to be spelling errors in the eyes of the reader.

When writing a word that means something that is not going to be completed, please use the term "cannot" instead of "can not" as the latter indicates a confusing word choice that means "doable but not doable". The same goes for the word "therefore", which cannot be written as "there fore". It is also a redundancy to say "first former". Former already means "the first choice". Also, the correct way of writing the sentence is "I am inclined to support the former".

Several other errors exist in your writing but since this is your first time posting here, I'll give you a pass and forgive the other errors. You are here to learn after all and that is what I shall help you do. I look forward to seeing some improvements with your next writing exercise, which I hope to better review once you let me know what type of essay you are writing (IELTS, TOEFL, English writing exercise, etc.)