The essay about nature and nurture kind of talent

talent given or developed skills?

It is taken for granted that people tend to have interest for various things. Undoubtedly, people making preference to certain things regarding their abilities.However some kind of people may be good at something without any efforts . We have tendency to call it talent which is given to person by birth.

There are two types of talent, nature and nurture will be taken up.
In my point of view, people can learn something without having any certain talents to that. It comes by hard work, strong positions and life experience according to the desire. It's possible to reach our goals through keeping learning and going on to do what we want. Because people always have the opportunity to be more versatile. They have strong desire and passion to their interests enabled to reach their goals successfully. Secondly, without any efforts and practices people can not develop their skills accordingly. Further if we start to something learn from childhood it may become our habit. Accordingly not all of the things are linked with genetic capability. Thus almost many sportsmen became famous thanks to a lots of practices and exercises without any specific talents are genetically inherited.

I'm not denying that talent is given by birth and that's like a valuable gift. We recognize that special talents like having a beautiful voice, analytical and mathematician skills are given by genetics. All of these things are inherited from parents, grandparents or relatives.

Certainly, the vast majority consider that people having the talent since they are born has more success than other types. However this reflection is not always correct. Because as above- mentioned,only having nature talent is not enough for realizing your goals.My position in this regard, it is really important to have natural type of talent, albeit it should have to be interconnected with nurture one. Because without developing personal skills you can not completely use your natural talent.

Hello, there are some grammatical errors that caused ambiguity. I could not follow your string of ideas smoothly. It would be better if you used connectors and conjunctions in a more accurate way in order to understand the ideas you are trying to explain.

Akerke, your thesis statement isn't really clear to the reader. You need to clarify what the thesis statement for your essay is. There is a lack of preciseness in the method by which you open you essay. Will this be a comparison discussion? Or will it be a solely personal opinion essay based upon the 2 sides for discussion. By the way, that stand alone sentence between your opening paragraph and the next complete paragraph is out of place. That should be a part of the first paragraph and not a solo sentence without a purpose in between two discussion points.

This essay, should be discussed in a manner far more thorough and longer than the existing presentation. Each topic must be given its own paragraph or two with which you can better develop your discussions. Take for example your official second paragraph. You used the same paragraph for 2 topic discussions. As a reader I found that I was still unclear about your first point because of the lack of supporting evidence and yet I had to launch into an understanding of a second point, in the same paragraph, which was not well presented either. Therefore, the paragraph did not help increase your discussion points as it create more questions than answers for the reader. That is why you need to discuss each topic as a completely developed paragraph, without making reference to a second point in the same discussion. The second point, should have its own developed discussion as well.

Do not start your sentences with the word "because". That is a connecting term / word which is only used in the middle of a sentence in order to connect 2 separate thoughts relating to the same discussion. Since it is not connecting a thought process at the start of the sentence, you must refrain from using it as an opening word or term.

@Holt
Thank you for your comments. I'm not good at writing essays so your advices are really important for me