Number of students staying in the UK who gained TEFL and Cambridge UCLES CELTA training qualificati

Hi everyone, please feel free to give me feedback.

TASK 1- TABLE-the number of students gaining English language teacher training qualification

The table gives information about the sum of students staying in the UK who gained TEFL and Cambridge UCLES CELTA training qualification in two periods, between 2007/2008 and 2008/2009 and the table focus in percentage of male. Overall, it can be seen that total proportion of male students who have training qualifications decrease slightly.

As closer looked at the table, both of male who have qualified with TEFL certificate was remained similar percentage below 30% whereas the other certificate was below 20% in two periods. TEFL was also the biggest proportion by around a half more than Cambridge UCLES CELTA & other degrees.

Interestingly, out of the total of 8165 male students, only 17.3% of them have qualified with Cambridge UCLES CELTA & other degrees in 2007/2008 and 12.1% in 2008/2009. What was more, the percentage of male student with Cambridge UCLES CELTA & other degrees qualification dropped gradually over the second period (2008/2009). It was drop of around 5%.

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Aulia, it seems that your current writing is improved. Maximum efforts will give better results. The way you present the data is clear and coherent. Still, I noticed several problems in your writing as follows:

"..and the table focus in the percentage of male."
"..it can be seen that the total proportion.." (Please learn more about the use of article)
"As closer looked at the table,.." (Similar issue to the previous essay, I suggest you to avoid this in your future essays)

There you have it. I wish the above revisions will shape your writing in the future.

Hi Aulia, here's additional insights to your analysis.

- Overall, it can be seen that total the proportion
- of male students who havehad training

- AsA closer looked at the table,
- both of male who have qualified with TEFL certificate
- h as remained at a similar
- TEFL was alsohas the biggest
- proportion by around a half more than Cambridge

- What'swas more,
- the percentage of male students inwith
-. It was, it drop of around 5%.

There you have Aulia, I hope the corrections above help you in writing the final analysis, for future writing reference, mind the linking verbs, make sure that the links of the verbs coincide with the idea that you are trying to elaborate and discuss in your analysis, this is quiet crucial as the essay you are writing is an analysis and the information should be relevant to the graph or the representation provided.