My essay may be misinformed in parts... if you encounter any, please raise any and all questions!
Usually, we become informed first, and write an essay second.
...is risking America to countless side effects.----In order to make this a good sentence, change risking to "putting America at risk for countless..."
... to radicalize Britain---This is not the correct way to writ it. Do you mean to say that he has involved government in health care?
The bill, on the other hand, could be passed--The bill has already passed, and it is now a law.
Obamacare, especially health care,---What do you mean here?
It's time for the democratic party and Obama to take a look back at their policy.--It is time for you to look at the policy. You have not gathered information prior to writing this essay? If you have not gathered information, you must be just repeating the ideas given to you by other people. When you write something, it is important not to go outside the bounds of what you know. Only write what you know. It is good that you cited a poll, and I think you should include more information like that. But in order to write in a persuasive way, the most important thing is to keep your claims limited to what you can support. So... write about the solid, sure information you have.