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Occupation between school and university



angga93 42 / 60  
Mar 28, 2016   #1
Some suggest that young people should take a job for a few years between school and university. Discuss what the advantages and disadvantages might be for people who do this.

Some people state that being occupied before attending university is a good thing for youngsters. Although this case is beneficial, it will bring several drawbacks as well.

The most substantial benefit from working in early-age is a great deal of experience that the youngsters can get. While working, pre-college students can also learn to deal with may types of people's personality so that it will helps them to interact with university colleagues. In addition, those people also can feel the sense of independency. They can earn their own money so that they minimally need financial aids from their parents. However, I believe that working for several years before attending college can bring more drawbacks.

Young people who already find a job are more likely to have less motivation to continue their study. This case will make them stuck in that job, as they cannot find another one which offers high salary. It is because many company these days usually include college degree as a criteria for job enrollment. After several years taking an occupation, people will graduate in older age than ordinary students. Meanwhile, there are many job vacancies which restrict their applicants' maximum ages. Because of that, by postphoning university study, students will lose several job opportunities. Not only that, in fact, the older people start to learn something, the shorter their brains can memorise it. Thus, people who enter college in older age will absorb knowledge not as effective as their younger counterparts.

To sum up, it is clear that taking a job before attending college cn brings benefits and drawbacks for the students. However, the advantages do not outweigh its disadvantages which mostly relate to age. I highly recommend youngsters to get a job between school and university so that they will get useful experience, but they should do it in short term as they can waste their age.

justivy03 - / 2265  
Mar 28, 2016   #2
Hi Angga, of all the essays that I have read from your posts, I must say that this is one of those writing pieces that is upfront, and direct to the point, you also started strong and ended strong at the same time. The body of your essay is rather a detailed analysis of your options being weighed and you gradually transition the paragraphs towards a very positive conclusion.

Moreover, the reasons you depicted in this essay is likely to happen in real life, meaning, if I were to face such situation, I may actually stumble in a process of tackling the same issue as you have cited in this essay and this is a very good character of your essay, to stay in a realistic picture is always a good approach to writing and answering the prompt.

For future reference though, try to add more substance to your word choice, make it known and though I said your essay is strong, it can still be enhanced by choosing bolder words and in doing so, make sure that the idea of the essay is still relevant to the the prompt or the goal of the essay.


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