One Official international Language or more languages?

Hi,
I'm new to this forum. I'm very much looking forward to have feedback on my essay. Please help me.

Some people believe that there should be a single official international language. Others believe that there should be more than one such languages.
Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Official international language has always been a debatable issue when the people are expressing their views about different international languages. Some says unique official language would be beneficial for the people and nations where as others contradicts with this idea. Both the views has it's own merits and demerits as outlined below.

An official language is essential to communicate with the people across the world, having only one such language serves this purpose effectively. Considering the example of international summits, where the delegates from different countries have the opportunity to discuss their thoughts on any prevailing issue in the world. In such cases , language which is used by all the officials should be unique so that there is no situation where the people face difficulties in understanding the topic or situation.

In addition to that, people who wants to visit different countries on their own interest may also have problems if the language in that nation is not known to him or her.For instance , a group of friends who are on their holiday trip to a place out of their motherland can enjoy and explore the things more over there by having a proper guide who speaks a common language than his native.Having the people who are speaking common language also helps in attracting tourists from different countries which in turn increases nation's economy.

On the other hand, there is a school of thought that believes different languages have different identities and they speaks about the culture and tradition. Having only one official international language may erode such things.To illustrate, there are some some chantings in an Asian language , which speaks about the origin, rituals and the tradition. It gives the great sense of nativity if we one can read those as it is than in any converted versions.There is also a concern that, having exposed to foreign language much more may put in local languages in endanger.So the people may oppose the view of unique official international language.

Having explained the merits and demerits of both the views, in my opinion I believe it is better to have unique official language by giving enough importance to

local languages.

You should have started with a better hook.
Language place an important part in any society.
Then the background of your topic;
Some people believe that the world should have one single official language across the world while others view there should be more than one such official language.

Now the opinion;
Both these views have their own merits and demerits. However, I believe on official international language would have more benefits in contrast to having several such languages.

Thanks for your feedback Dumi!

... I think its too long for sentence and too complex to understand, maybe you can use Then, moreover, furthermore


.. What chantings mean? just use proper words so the readers will understand about your essay.
Good Job!

On the other hand, there is a school of thought that believes different languages have different identities and they speaksspeak about the culture and tradition.

My suggestion;
On the other hand, there is one school of thought that believes language is the best representation of the culture, value system and traditions of each community.


Well, the examples need to be more specific because that is what you use to support your reason for justification. So, tell the reader what exactly those languages are. Be more specific with examples.

You can write very well. Align your structure and avoid small grammar mistakes. :)

(why...?) If you could, here you'd better restate what you've mentioned above. Then, show some suggestion or warning in the end of your statement.

FYI: A writer needs to keep in mind that the conclusion is often what a reader remembers best. Your conclusion should be the best part of your paper.