Globalization currently becomes the mainstream development on a world scale, with the ongoing cooperations among various nations. For sometimes, it is suggested that Asians should share the same official language-English- with the rest of the world at the same time. However, I suppose the potential success of the plan is significantly doubtful for a couple of reasons.
For one thing, I do not expect a sizable population of Asia to considerate English to be a formal communication mean with exuberance of joy. Actually since time immemorial, Asian has flourished a diverse systems of traditions and cultures. Different countries gave birth to our own separate languages, and they are sustained primarily drawing on the self-esteem and national identity. An excellent example could be China where international tourists are unlikely to be welcomed at its most hospital unless they are able to speak little Chinese. Hence, achieving the whole continent's consent in claiming English as an official language would not meet much of the reality.
Another obstacle to the prospect of the dominating English over Asia is financial inadequacy as numerous less- developed countries are still in the war against poverty. In hope to popularize English as regionally as possible, more and more native teachers and more and more well-equipped schools must be in practice. This apparently draws to the confused monetary matters in the very era of worldwide fiscal crisis. Should the plan gain its popularity, financial sponsors would be of greater concerns.
Finally, what I put forward is that English should be exclusively in use for only formal and important conferences. It is, in actuality, easier to spread the usage of English for a decent number of population with prevailing educational systems. Moreover, world economy currently witnessed growing trades among countries, which directly foster Asians to adopt English as second or third languages. The quest of being proficient in English has increased than ever imagined. Therefore, choosing English as one of major languages in business would make perfect sense.
In conclusion, granting English to be the primary language in the region of Asia is far from approaching. The fundamental reason is that no country would neglect its nationalism for a western-rooted language, not mention to further financial constraints. What governments should take into consideration is the practice of using English solely in official events.
Many thanks for feedback :D
Ditto what the above said, I think you using different sentence structures would help you the most. Try different introductary phrases, like in the second paragraph, you said "For one thing" maybe instead you can use "For starters" "First of all" even nothing at all just to see if it flows better. Also try saying sentences in different ways, more clear, more simple and easier to understand. It'll make it as such, more clear, more simple and easier to understand.
My best tip for what you wrote is, at the end of your paragraph... my English teacher taught me a trick... use the phrase "Clearly" instead of "In conclusion". The word "Clearly" is a much cleaner and powerful way to start your conclusion paragraph. I mean you caaaaaaaan use "In conclusion" but it's very generic. I mean unless your English teacher absolutely demands it from you, try not to use it. I know teachers teach like that and it's so you remember that the last paragraph is the conclusion paragraph. Ask your teacher if you can use another introductary phrase instead of "In conclusion". That's all the help I can think of for now, I'm not very talented in the essay writing department but sometimes God bless me. Take care, G-d bless and keep working on it =]
