Nowadays people get married and have children after the age 30. Is it positive or negative development? Give your opinion and examples based on your experience.
Today it has become popular among people to make a family and have kids after the age 30. This action has both benefits and drawbacks.
Nowadays it is believed that it is better to get married in both financially, morally and physically developed period. It means that people that are independent, and are able to at least provide suitable living conditions, to themselves and this is preferable to making a family. It used to be popular in western cultures, but now it is spreads throughout the whole world. Obviously, this attitude has several benefits such as stronger family or healthier and smarter children due to parents' knowledge. For example, when young couples get married, some problems could appear,such as lack of life experience or inability to find suitable job. However, older couples are more experienced and can handle their families both financially and morally.
Therefore, getting married in older age is not always beneficial. Apparently, in women the chance to become pregnant decreases with age. Young couples in comparison with older ones normally have more children. It is clear that it could be the reason of social degradation, declining number of people. For example, in Europe countries in the latest years birthrate has decreased. Accordingly, the main reason is late getting married.
In conclusion, it is obvious that to get married after 30s has both advantages and disadvantages. I think it is not catastrophe but we should keep the balance between when to get married: in early years or later and choose the middle option.
I think your organization of ideas is excellent, as is your paragraph setup. I needed to short some sentences, to make them clearer, and added punctuation. Also, I replaces some of your word choices.
Your argument is not entirely balanced, because you but more time into saying why it's beneficial to wait. I think you should give more thought to why some people don't want to wait, and give some examples, of why that would be better. Perhaps you could even say that whenever a coupled falls in love, that is possibly a good time to marry, no matter what the age!
But you did bring in the global effect about declining European birthrates, and that really underscores the point, or as you call it "social degradation"; do we really want our population to decline, just so we can wait later to get married?
I believe you made a good comparison and contrast argument, just needing a few more positive thoughts, about the advantages of getting married earlier.
Good luck!
ef_carol
Today it has become popular among people to make a family and have kids after the age 30. This action has both benefits and drawbacks.
I will assume this as an introduction. When a prompt asks for your opinion, then you will have create one in your introduction as well.
In addition, 2 to 3 reasons should be included to give the reader an idea of what you are about to write.
Your second paragraph requires some elaboration, otherwise you will not be able to obtain the highest score!