The Pie Charts below show the online sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013
Answer:
The given pie chart illustrates the percentage for clothes, books, film, music and travel in online sales in New Zealand.
Overall, it can be seen that the majority of figures accounted for categories as travel, film and music throughout the years.
In the 2003 the main sale online was travel, almost forty percent of total sales that make it at the top of the sales. However, in 2013 the number of travel related products sales in overall significantly decreased to 29. Similarly, the figures for sales in film and music sector dropped from 24 to 16 units.
In 2003 the number for clothes in overall sales numbered 24 percent. In contrast, in 2013 the pie chart shows the decline in same sector by 8 units. With regard to sales of books, as per pie chart in 2003 he figure for latter category accounted for 19%. But in 2013 the number demonstrated the slight jump from 19% to 22%
Holt Educational Consultant - / 15461 While you did meet the word count, the format for the response is incorrect. A task 1 essay normally has 3 paragraphs. There are only 2 represented in this writing. You have to learn how to separate the provided information into paragraphs. Know how to group the information so that the correct relationships can be compared and discussed in each analytical paragraph. Separate these into:
Overview + trending statement
Comparison 1
Comparison 2
The problem with your presentation lies in the formatting. I believe you are self studying and as such, may not be familiar with the expected response format. I have provided that to you above. By making use of the correct paragraph presentation, you can also increase your word count for a better scoring consideration.
Hi @semmast
Please notice that in IELTS writing task 1, there is an appropriate way to structure your paragraph:
- Paragraph 1: Paraphrase the rubric
- Paragraph 2: Summarise the main tendency in the paragraph (Overview)
* You can combine the first and the second paragraph.
- Paragraph 3&4: Details
Hope that you can get your ideal score!
In my opinion, your essay is excellent! There is only one thing that could be improved to do better in the real IELTS exam: after each paragraph, you should leave a line after each paragraph (in your essay above, you did only left a line after the first body paragraph). The overview should contain at least 2 sentences about 2 key features of the chart(s). Good job! Keep writing!
