PORT DICKSON; School holiday exprience

Last month,I went to Port Dicksonwith my family.We had picnic at Teluk Kemang.Teluk Kemang is about 12 kilometers from Port Dickson.My father drove us there in his car.

We arrived there at 10:00 a.m.My family and I managed to get a place in the shade of a large tree and we put our things there.the water cool and refreshing and I loved splashing it on my little brother.however,the hot sun above can be quite uncomfortable.

Soon we heard my mom calling us to have lunch.My little brother and me ran to her and helped ourselves to the delicious curry she had bought.Then we had several glasses of ice-cold drink.

After lunch,we played a while more in the sea.We walked over to one of the hotels nearby and washed ourselves with clean freshwater.

When we returned,my mother packed everthing in the car.So,all of us got into the car and my father drove us back home to Klang,Selangor.

Last month I along with my family went to Port Dickson. We had arranged a picnic at at Teluk Kemang. This place is about 12 kilometers from Port Dickson. My father drove us there in his car and we arrived there at 10 am. We managed to get a place under a large tree with shade and put our things there. The water in the sea was cool and refreshing and me and my little brother played splashing it on each other. However, the sun above us was quite uncomfortable.

Soon we heard our mom calling us to have lunch. Me and my little brother ran to her and helped ourselves with the delicious curry she had bought.Then we had several glasses of ice-cold drinks.

After lunch,we played a little more in the sea. We walked over to one of the hotels nearby and washed ourselves with clean freshwater.

When we returned,my mother packed everthing in the car. All of us got into the car and my father drove us back home to Klang, Selangor. This was a memorable journey indeed. (write something like this in the end!)

That's all!!! Aren't you supposed to write something more in your experience. I am sure there's many more things worth describing in your holiday! Or is it that, this is enough in High School?

I believe it is very strong, and I like your writing style. Very good.

thank you

.... I think you should talk more about the experience rather than talking every little detail of the day;
We found a shady place where we could relax and enjoy.


The water was cool and refreshing and I loved splashing it on my little brother.


However, the sun was pretty scorching that made us feel uncomfortable.