The proportion of parcels delivered between FEDEX and TNT between 1920 and 2000

Parcels delivered by Federal Express and TNT Mail Services

The line graph given compares the proportion of parcels delivered betwee Federal Express and TNT Mail Services over the period 1920 to 2000. It is clear that both companies tended to increase despite the fluctuations it experienced. Fedex had the highest starting point but it was replaced by TNT at the end of period.

To be spesific, standing as the highest starting level, Fedex saw an upward trend to reach a peak by nearly 24000 in 1940. However, this upward trend was suddebly broke up where parcels experienced an enormous drop hitting a low of 12000 and declined continuously at a level below their starting point in 1960. In contrast, TNT stood at roughly 5500 initially and climbed modestly to reach a little over 6000 in 1930. This was followed by another increase, altough much steeper, in 1960 when parcels delivered were almost reaching the similar level of Fedex in the same year.

Furthermore, TNT saw a slight decreased in 1970, after which increased modestly to reach almost the same point in 1960. However, TNT rose dramatically surpassing the level of Fedex in 1985. While Fedex rose significantly in 1980 by about 18000 afterwards the figure dropped again until the end of period.

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  Question. Ielts writing task 1
  

Erin, you have mentioned the most obvious information to be found in the line chart. However, the information you presented is incomplete. There is an overlapping point in the graph. While this is the point where Fedex flatlined in terms of growth, this point should also have been reported as the area where the two companies had equal growth and client numbers during a given time. This is a minute point of comparison that could have helped create a better report on your end.

In addition to that, your overall presentation is short by 1 paragraph. A fully developed IELTS Task 1 essay is required to have 4 paragraphs within it. You could have used the overlapping point I mentioned to create such a paragraph in this instance. Also, your summary overview is incomplete because you forgot to mention that the fluctuations being discussed were in terms of parcel deliveries. Always be specific. Specially in the summary overview where the pertinent information should be presented in terms of what it represents in the essay.

You are careless when it comes to word development. You did not even bother to proof read the essay prior to submitting it here. Spelling errors such as the proper spelling for "specific" will affect the LR score. Then improperly developed sentences such as "was suddebly broke up" will affect both the LR and GRA score for this essay. Practice proper grammar and punctuation at all times. Check yourself before submitting for a grade. You don't want to fail based on avoidable mistakes.