IELTS WRITING TASK 1: The reasons of migration to capital city in a particular country (2000 - 2015)

The reasons why people moved to the capital city of a particular country

The line graph illustrated the reasons of migrate to capital g a particular country between 2000 and 2015.
Overal, as can be seen from the graph that employement and study increased sharply in the decades from 2000 to 2010. However, whereas employment was a minimal drop, study was a dramatic rise by year the 2015. There were a slight growth in family / friends and adventure in 15 years.

The figures of employment and study were an considerable increase aproximately 5000, 48000 in 2005, respectively. And then, in the next 5 years, the numbers of these two reasons continued to climbed just over 91,000 and 55000 respectively in 2010. By the 2015, while it was a gradual decrease in employment, the figures of study was a sharp upward trend. The number of both employment and study on this period were the same about 88000. During the period from 2000 to 2015, there was a steady rise by 5000 from 10000 to 15000 in adventure. It can be clear that family/friends went up moderately roughly 22000 in decades, and rose gradually by 1000 in 2015.

While the writer wrote more than the expected word count, he did not properly format the paragraph presentations. A task 1 essay is always composed of :

Par. 1: Summary overview + trending statement
Par. 2: Reporting analysis 1
Par. 3: Reporting analysis 2

What he should have done was properly group the discussion paragraphs based on the number of data for comparison. He essentially began his report where the trending statement should have been present, negating the actual function of that presentation section. He cannot receive a scoring consideration for the trend when it is not properly presented in the report.

I need to point out the lack of care in writing this report as well. He has extra letters that mean nothing a sentence, a few misspelled words here and there, and incorrect punctuation or missing punctuation marks in a few places. This is a very badly written essay that shows the writer cannot receive a passing GRA score since he cannot be bothered to review and revise / edit his work for grammar accuracy. The formatting error and GRA problems alone are enough to guarantee a failing score for this essay.