"Running away"; "I'm sorry for all that is happening, but..." - rate my essay

Title: Running away

"I'm sorry for all that is happening, but..."

"But what? You can't deny anything. This whole incident happened because of you. It is you who have got me into this. It is you whom they are after. Because of you, I am in the middle of nowhere on Christmas night..." I yelled at him with the loudest and wildest voice I had.

He cut my word, "I'm sorry. I wish I could take you back. I would do anything to get you back." He paused and looked down, "I wish I could go back in time, I promise I would fix everything this time. I promise " he murmured, and this time I knew he was not talking to me anymore.

We stood there in silence under the dying light of the moon and star for a very long time, and not for a second had we moved our eyes; his fixed on the ground and mine on his tired face.

At last, I decided to break the silence, rather to lighten the heavy guilt that was growing in my heart for making him so miserable.

"I'm s..."

Something exploded not so far behind us. I felt my heart fell into the acidic churning of my stomach. Apparently I was not the only one who had decided to break the silence. I gazed at him with horror and confusion. "How did they fin..."

Something exploded again, this time only a few feet away from us. The explosion ended my question with a hysterical scream; it was then that someone started shooting. Without any intention I found myself crumbled on the snowy ground, clenching my frozen fingers behind my head. I saw a bullet digging deep down into the snow and I knew that it was only because of the twilight that I was not shot. However, I also knew that I had to move or it was death that was awaiting me. But my body, not a single cell, had the nerve to move, I was as stiff as stone. Fear had stamped me to the ground.

"RUN!" He shouted, "RUN, DAMM IT, RUN!" It was his cry that brought me back.

I looked up at him that was standing next to me, dragging me up by my shoulder. His face was paler than the moon that was shinning above his head.

I got up on my shaking feet, and with unspoken consent, we started running in different directions, hoping to confuse our enemies. I ran with all the strength I had, and with the fastest speed I could afford.

Soon, my feet were barely touching the ground. I had never ran this fast in my life. I marveled at my own speed and wondered what gave me strength to run this fast.

I was running. The whole world was still and I was running. Nothing existed but me and a world of roads to run on. The beats of my hopeful heart, and short breaths of mine were all I could hear. My throat was dry, my hands were shaking and my feat weaker than ever. With every crazy beat of my heart, the black curtain in front of my eyes strengthened. I knew well enough that I was not far from falling apart.

But why now? Now that I needed the strength more than any other time, now that I had to continue, stand, and fight my enemies to protect my family. Why does it have to end now?

The harsh air of winter tore my throat with every breath. Death was close, but I had never imagined dying this way. I was supposed to die like millions of other people: in bed, in the hospital or in a car accident. But life has chosen a more creative way for me.

I could not feel anything...nothing but pain. My throat was dry, my weakness growing, but the road was widespread in front of me.

"Daddy...are you a hero?"

A question my 5- year old daughter asked on her birthday popped into my mind. Instantaneously, my mind was washed away from the pain and sufferings I had suffered so far, and deep within my conscious, I had an answer.

I slowed down my pace and gazed into the wilderness of the snow-covered forest. I turned around and faced in the direction of my enemies. I closed my eyes and prayed. Looking into the solemn heavens, tears filled my eyes.

"Hope" was the only power left in me.

"Tiffany, Daddy is a hero now..."

Thank you...

This is vivid but confusing to me. For what purpose did you write it?

I wrote it as a pradtice essay for my teacher...

What did your teacher say? It reads more like a short story than an essay to me. And, again, I found it confusing. I suspect that some of that was deliberate. Perhaps you wanted the reader to be intrigued or perhaps you wanted the reader to feel some of the confusion felt by the protagonist. But, at some point, you've got to clarity what's going on.

Yup. It's okay to start in media res, but you have to clarify the back story at some point. The sooner and more you clarify, the more readable your story will become, but the less suspense you'll get out of it. So, its a trade-off. The longer you keep the reader in the dark, the greater the chance the reader will lose interest and decide the story is too confusing to bother with. The sooner you explain what's going on, though, the less mileage you can get out of keeping the reader in suspense. Where you strike the balance depends upon who your audience is, but for a story aimed at a the general public, you should establish at least a basic sense of who, where, and why fairly quickly.

I was attracted by the beginning, but untill I finished the last word, I did not figure out the realationship between you and "He". If you make the incident clear in the end of the story, it can be a good one.

You need to clarify much more.
The entire work is interesting but makes very little sense and threatens to make the reader simply give up trying to comprehend it.