"I was running" essay. Grammar and punctuation help.

I was running. The whole world was still and I was running. Nothing existed but me and a world of roads to run in... the beats of my hopeful heart, and short breaths of mine were all I could hear. my throat was dry, and my hands shaking -my feet; weaker than ever. With every crazily beat of my heart the black curtain in front of my eyes strengthened... I well knew I was not far from falling apart.

But why now? Now that I needed them more than any other time? Now that I had to continue, now that I had to stand, now that I had to fight? Why now?

The harsh air of winter tore my throat with every breath. Death was close, but I had never imagined dying in this way. I was supposed to die like millions of other people: in sleep, in hospital or in a car accident. But life has chosen me a more creative way.

I couldn't feel anything anymore...nothing but pain.
My weakness was growing, but road was widespread in front of me...

"Hope" was the only power left in me.

"With every crazy beat of my heart the black curtain in front of my eyes strengthened"

Um, the essay seems a tad incomplete. Also, it seems more like a work of fiction at the moment. Could you provide the details of the assignment instructions?

My throat was dry,...

My weakness was growing, but the road was widespread in front of me...

It is very interesting, but I agree with Sean, it's lacking something. It sounds like part of a bad dream right now.

the assignment was just describing a scene. the feelings. not necessarily a sotry. but thanks u guys.

Ah. In that case, you're fine. The confusion came, I think, from the thread title, ""I was running" essay," which did make it sound as if your post was supposed to be an essay, which it clearly isn't.

My professor encourages us to avoid the words was, is ,are were, am etc. Basically any form of "to be".

For instance:
The whole world stilled and I ran on.

Death creeped ever closer.

Just think of different ways to express "was".

thanks akern, really good advice. :)