Unanswered [4] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

GRE- 'Scandals can be useful'? Do they focus our attention on problems better ?


goku123 8 / 16  
May 19, 2012   #1
TOPIC: Scandals-whether in politics, academia, or other areas-can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could."

Determining whether scandals are useful can be approached from several different angles due to its complexity. It seems that the claim is like a pithy aphorism full of wisdom and meditation; however, further scrutiny leads me to the discordant position.

The first and foremost reason lies in a facet people have to envisage that scandals usually distort the truth which we should originally know. For example, there are so many scandals around celebrities, such as some president's sex scandal or some singer's drug addiction. It is hard to discern whether the information we receive is truth or rumor. Sometimes, social media contrive some fake scandals to attract people in order to enhance their profits. Under this circumstance, scandal is not so much a useful tool to focus our attention as a detrimental trickster.

Moreover, another equally crucial aspect is that speakers or reformers can still focus our attention on problems in ways that scandals could not. Because the scandals usually proffer us superficial news lacking merits for us to concentrating on, people might tend to advert to those speech or ideas expressed from well-known speakers or reformers. For instance, When Kim-North Korea's leader-claims to attack South Korea, people all over the world will focus on it; while if the mass media make up some scandals predicting Kim's policy and dispersing scandals of fear, seldom really care. Hence, I do not believe that scandals are truly useful.

Admittedly, to some extent, scandals have their own merits. They can provide us with much information hiding in every corner hard to reveal. But I do not think the advantages of this are greater than those of getting useful information from speakers or reformers.

To sum up, rational people know things in really world are rarely black and white but usually involve shades of gray. Based on the analysis demonstrated above, I do not assent to the claim that scandals are useful because they focus our attention on problems in an effective way. It is not to say, of course, that the claim is completely without credibility. Still, I am firmly convinced that a broader or even more comprehensive scrutiny is indispensable before I can entirely believe the claim.

-------------
I hope someone can give me a hand and amend my essay into a better way.
If you can, picking my flaws and advise me how to reverse it. thanks!
chessman567 5 / 170 11  
May 27, 2012   #2
. For instance, When Kim-North Korea's leader-claims to attack South Korea, people all over the world will focus on it; while if the mass media make up some scandals predicting Kim's policy and dispersing scandals of fear, seldom really care. CAPTIAL WORD IN MIDDLE OF A SENTENCE

They can provide us with much information hiding in every corner THAT IS hard to reveal. YOU HAVE TO ADD THAT IS
know things in really world are rarely black and white but usually involve shades of gray- I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TRYING TO CONVEY HERE. THE GRAMMER IS WRONG, SO YOU WILL HAVE TO FIX IT.

GREAT ESSAY THOUGH!
hafidgg 6 / 11  
May 27, 2012   #3
i ve just read the essay; it run smoothly to its closing. It is a good essay, containing much useful infos.
i think it would be better if u add another paragraph in its body.
good luck.
sp: I share the idea with Carlos Zhu about this :
know things in really world are rarely black and white but usually involve shades of gray


Home / Writing Feedback / GRE- 'Scandals can be useful'? Do they focus our attention on problems better ?