How to See the Upcoming 'Great American Eclipse' (SUMMARY)

Erpin92 3 / 3

Aug 25, 2016 #1

Hello guys, please give your correction about my summary.
you can see the article by clicking this link :
news.nationalgeographic.com/2016/08/how-to-see-american-solar-eclipse-2017/

How to see the upcoming "great American eclipse"
Since 1979, total eclipse never crosses American continent but in August 2017 you can get a scarce experience in your life because the total eclipse will cross the continental U.S.

On August 21, 2017, for the first time since 1979, the shadow of a total solar eclipse will sweep from sea to shining sea, following a 8.600-mile path that takes it from Oregon to South Carolina.

It can be predicted that almost 200 million Americans will come to Carbondal, Illinois to see the total solar eclipse. Therefore, if you want to get the best viewing spot, you should make your travel plans now.

If you miss this celestial event, there will be another total solar eclipse in the United States, sweeping from California to Florida, on August 12, 2045. Therefore, you need to be patient to wait this celestial event.

akbarmappiare 31 / 445

Aug 26, 2016 #2

Hi Erpin.
Welcome to Essay Forum.
You have been a right medium to improve your skill. I suggest you to harness this website as well as possible.
I have read this writing closely. I cannot give many comments for this because you should get the point of making a summary. Honestly, your writing is quick messy. This was written unsystematically. The summary consists of the topic and supporting sentences. Following that, you don't copy words directly from the original article. You have to paraphrase them, no direct quotes. One of the most factors is the flow of your writing. You are supposed to explain systematically. The simple way to make the good flow is using appropriate linking words.

I believe you can show the better progress if you wanna provide more time to practice again and again.
Good Luck

justivy03 - / 2265

Aug 26, 2016 #3

Hi Erpin, below are thoughts on your essay.

- crosses the American continent
- ~~but~~however in August 2017

- OnIn August 21, 2017,
- will sweep from sea to ~~shining~~ sea,

- patient to wait for this celestial event.

There you have it Erpin, as you can see, there's not much to correct in your summary. A few missing linking verbs that will complete the sentence and I hope you follow suit. This minor details are definitely crucial as it will affect the overall impact of the essay as well as the idea that you are trying to convey to your readers.

Overall, it is a well structured summary, very brief as it is and straight to the point and what is needed of the prompt.
I hope to review more of your essays soon and keep writing.