Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 5


The Sentinels



Rajiv 55 / 398  
Dec 20, 2009   #1
They stand guard, no fear or cry. Only some purpose in their minds they know. Some things they look over, for were they to not, these may not be as before.

A wary band now become, their purpose to themselves better known; but they guard well, this wary band - what it is they do not know.

By stealthy glance, a whispered sound, a raised eyebrow, to other gestured; they hide their fears, of knowing not what they guard.

Some special knowledge, some past history, and conquests made of yore.

They see their enemies in the distance now, among trees and mists; silhouettes of steeds, brandishing swords and garbled shrieks.

A wily group these Sentinels, progenies of might and oppression.

On tromping steeds - let no one steal their freedom back, from them so hardily won.

Warfare is of another kind now, of words and disinformation; and deception too, and this has always been the same.

EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Dec 22, 2009   #2
Some things they look over, for were they to not, these may not be as before.

This sentence does not help me understand anything, because I don't know what you mean by look over.

A wary band they had now become, their purpose to themselves better known; but they guard well, this wary band - but what it is they guard they do not know. --- > I don't know if that change woulf be appropriate or not! Anyway, this is beautiful writing... More like a poem than an essay.
OP Rajiv 55 / 398  
Dec 22, 2009   #3
You are quite an amazing person Kevin, I'd really like it if we were to meet some day !
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Dec 25, 2009   #4
Likewise! I'm socially awkward in real life, though, and more confident in writing. Do you know what I mean about not understanding the meaning of look over? I might be able to understand all of it much better if I knew whether you meant "overlook" or "take a look at."
OP Rajiv 55 / 398  
Dec 31, 2009   #5
Its a cynical piece on an attitude I find much too often in the people in Western countries.

look over -- to guard.


Home / Writing Feedback / The Sentinels
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳