The ocean waves, as black as the shadows, beat against the sand, in tune with the steady beat of her broken heart. The sound mocked her,orderly and predictable while her whole world continued to shatter. The evergreens whistling in the slight breeze. Her heart beating in and out of her chest like a humming bird destructively flapping It's wings. She wants to dive into the darkness to forget all the words, all the scars, and all the hate. She wanted to end her life. The life no one appreciated not even herself. She dipped the point of her toe in the water and watched as the ripple disappeared like every word she ever spoke.
Sharp Edges by Quinn Vlacich
The ocean waves, as black as the shadows, beat against the sand, in tune with the steady beat of her broken heart.---her heart beat so slowly?
The sound mocked her, o rderly and predictable while her whole world continued to shatter.---Don't forget to leave a space after each comma and period.
The evergreens whistled in the slight breeze.---I think this would be more powerful if you write 'the wind whistled through the evergreens...'.
She dipped the point of her toe in the water and watched as the ripple disappeared like every word she'd ever spoken .
This is some deep and amazing writing! I'm glad I got to read it, is it prose or the beginning of a story?
The sound mocked her, o rderly and predictable while her whole world continued to shatter.---Don't forget to leave a space after each comma and period.
The evergreens whistled in the slight breeze.---I think this would be more powerful if you write 'the wind whistled through the evergreens...'.
She dipped the point of her toe in the water and watched as the ripple disappeared like every word she'd ever spoken .
This is some deep and amazing writing! I'm glad I got to read it, is it prose or the beginning of a story?