i have written a statement of purpose which needs grammatical and structure correction , can you help me in correcting the the SOP below
Statement of Purpose
My interest in mechanical engineering dates since my high-school years. Upon graduating from Sri Kumaran Children's Pre University College in Bangalore, I applied to the Mechanical Engineering program at Visveswaraiah Technological University. During the course of study i was one among the top 5 students in mechanical department at The Oxford College of Engineering. I am proud of my achievement, I knew that I could complete the program and get closer to a career in mechanical engineering.
After Completing my Bachelors in Mechanical engineering with first class in distinction, I was very lucky to be accepted in a one-year graduate apprenticeship in Robert Bosch India where in every year only 30 fresh undergraduates students all over India are selected .At the end of my internship, I was hired as a full-time employee in Engineering, Engine & Vehicle Testing lab. During my two years of full-time employment, I have had the opportunity to work independently on diesel engines ranging from single cylinder Naturally aspirated engine to turbo charged multi cylinder engines. i have worked with customers who include OEM's like Tata , Mahindra & Mahindra and Bosch(As internal customer).
I completed developing a Common rail Single cylinder diesel engine to meet stringent Bharath stage III emission Norms, the development of this engine included the selection of hardware such as bowl, injectors with different hydraulic through flow, designing the exhaust layout with new Diesel particulate filter (passive regeneration), studying the particulate filter efficiency, optimising variables such as injection timing, fuel rail pressure, this engine calibration was then followed with vehicle trials on a 3/4 wheeler test on chassis dynamometer,i can proudly say that this work on single cylinder engine is very unique and the data that we generated out of these tests helped Bosch to define its fuel injection strategy for three /four wheeler vehicle Market, significant achievement to date.
During my work at Bosch, I was also given the opportunity to work on TATA Inline 6 cylinder engine to meet BS-IV emission norms, this work included the selection of engine hardware such as turbocharger, EGR cooler, Nozzles, piston bowl, cylinder head with different swirl, Diesel particulate filter along with other optimising variables. It gives me immense pleasure to say that i have also worked on India's cheapest car - TATA NANO, Mahindra & Mahindra is also one of the customer for whom i have worked to develop off high way engines in meeting tier 3 emission norms. My stay in this very competitive environment has given me invaluable practical experience and has demonstrated that I am a fast learner and that I cope well with pressure and specific deadlines.
After my employment at Bosch I am now working for CATERPILLAR, considering the technical competence I had CAT deputed me to Perkins in UK to further develop my skills in performance and emission rating calibration. I worked in a team of twelve engineers developing the calibrations for one of the CAT machine group customers, with demanding objectives for fuel economy and transient response. The development process composing test schedules for engine bench testing, evaluating test data, determining from those results appropriate changes that meet customer and internal expectations and limits. The proudest achievement to date is on CAT- 320 Hex Machine -122 kW, 113 kW that is running all over the world with the maps that i have calibrated with no customer complaints. I am one among the top 9 employees to be awarded as Amazing employee of the year at CAT India for the year 2011.
As I continue to work for CAT North America from CAT India- supporting rating development for Marine engines, I thought carefully of my career options. I discussed thoroughly with friends and colleagues and opened up to my superior who is alumni (PhD) from Wisconsin about my idea of pursuing PhD studies in the same field. He encouraged me greatly on this subject.
I've already expressed my desire to pursue a PhD study in field of Single cylinder research engine to Dr. Rolf D. Reitz. He has presented to me a snapshot of this research project. As challenging as it is, the subject appeals to me greatly. I am well aware of the considerable dedication, commitment and focus required to earn a doctorate degree. However, I care significantly about the discipline I've chosen and I know that I am consistent and am able to commit to a difficult task for a long time.
I bring along a grasp of fundamentals in Mechanical Engineering and automotive engineering. I have a passion for challenge and an enthusiastic desire to learn all that I can. My long-term goal is to have a career in research and teaching. I hope that my background and qualifications are found suitable for a PhD program in Mechanical Engineering at Wisconsin University. I look forward to a rewarding association with Wisconsin University.
With respect to low score of AWA- (3) in GRE, I was little nervous during the test, this feeling made me to articulate my writing section not that effectively with not many supporting complex ideas, this was not the case when I took IELTS exam in which I have an overall band score of 6.5 and a score of 6 in writing section.