I have got a start on the paper I just want to know how it sounds so far.
In the novel The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, by C.S. Lewis, there are four siblings, Peter, Susan, Edmund, and Lucy. Lucy is the youngest of the four children and has several key moments that influence the story a great deal. I believe the most important moment Lucy has is when she first discovers the enchanted wardrobe that leads to Narnia. If it had not been for this moment I do not believe, the children would have ever entered Narnia and there would have not been a story at all.
Lucy is the first to discover Narnia, where she meets the Faun Mr. Tumnus. Then after all four children are in Narnia, Lucy leads the children to Mr. Tumnus's home and they find his home destroyed. Lucy realized that this means the White Witch knows that Mr. Tumnus spared Lucy's life, and that the White Witch has captured Tumnus. Lucy insists her siblings to help her rescue Mr. Tumnus from the White Witch. From Father Christmas, Lucy receives a dagger and a special bottle of the juice of the fire-flowers that grow on the sun, which she later uses to heal Edmund.
Lucy, the youngest, stays behind and opens the wardrobe door. She looks in it she climbs in out of pure curiosity. This curiosity of Lucy's is what leads her to discovering Narnia.
Thank you for your time and help.
Andrea
Greetings!
I think you have a good start to your essay! I can give you some editing tips.
I question your use of "I believe" in your essay. Usually, it is best not to personalize or refer to yourself when writing a formal essay. Unless your instructor has specifically told you to put in your personal opinion, it might be a good idea to leave it out.
Be sure not to change tenses. If you are writing in present tense, you want to say "Lucy realizes that this means the White Witch knows..."
She looks in it she climbs in out of pure curiosity. This curiosity of Lucy's is what leads her to discovering Narnia. - Better would be "She looks into the wardrobe and climbs in out of pure curiosity. Lucy's curiosity leads her to discover Narnia."
I hope this helps!
Thanks,
Sarah, EssayForum.com
I need help, please. I am having a hard time finishing.
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Thanks,
Andrea
Greetings!
I think you are doing very well. I did find this sentence a little confusing:
She never gives up on the fact she knew about her visiting Narnia and meeting the faun.
Try re-writing that with a bit more detail so that someone who has not read the book can understand better what you are saying. Also, it is unclear who "her" refers to in this sentence.
Your last paragraph should be at least three sentences. If you can't find any more to add as a conclusion about Lucy, you might want to put that last sentence into the previous paragraph.
I hope this helps!
Thanks,
Sarah
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Greetings!
You've been working hard, and it shows! I have just a few editing suggestions:
has several key moments that influence the story an immense deal. - say "immensely" or "a great deal" but not "an immense deal."
The adventures begin when all of children are exploring the house
Lucy insists that her siblings help her rescue Mr. Tumnus from the White Witch.
possibly the most likely of the children to believe in a fantasy world.
Lucy's strong motivation to help rescue her friend, Mr. Tumnus, is what leads the children to the great adventure they have in Narnia.
Good work!
Thanks,
Sarah, EssayForum.com
Could you take one more look, please?
In the novel The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis, there are four siblings: Peter, Susan, Edmund, and Lucy. Lucy is the youngest of the four children and has several key moments that influence the story an immensely. The most important moment Lucy has is when she first discovers the enchanted wardrobe that leads to Narnia. If this moment had not taken place, the children may have never entered into Narnia. Then there would have not been a story to tell.
The adventures begin when all of the children are exploring the house and Lucy, the youngest, stays behind in a room with nothing but a wardrobe and opens the wardrobe door. She looks into the wardrobe and climbs in out of pure curiosity. Lucy's curiosity leads her to discover Narnia, where she meets the Faun Mr. Tumnus. Then after all four children are in Narnia, Lucy leads the children to Mr. Tumnus's home. Once they find his home, it has been destroyed. Lucy realizes that this means the White Witch knows that Mr. Tumnus spared Lucy's life, and that the White Witch has captured Tumnus. Lucy insists that her siblings help her rescue Mr. Tumnus from the White Witch.
Lucy's character is important to the development of the story for many reasons. She is kind, loving, brave, and believes in things that her siblings find to be unbelievable. Lucy is the youngest of the children, and possibly the most likely of the children to believe in a fantasy world. No matter what Lucy's siblings say, she never gives up on the fact that she did visit Narnia and meet the faun. Due to the fact of Lucy's compassion, she does not hold it against her siblings for not believing her and forgives them when they all enter Narnia together.
Lucy's strong motivation to help rescue her friend, Mr. Tumnus, is what leads the children to the great adventure they have in Narnia. She is also the most observant and prescient of the children and this is why she is the good choice for the first to enter Narnia. After the children and Aslan win the battle between good and evil, the children take the throne. Lucy is called by the people of Narnia "Lucy the Valiant" for her golden hair, courageousness, and charm.
Thanks,
Andrea
Greetings!
I should have been more specific with my suggetion regarding "immensely." It should read like this: "several key moments that influence the story immensely. "
If this moment had not taken place, the children may have never entered into Narnia. Then there would have not been a story to tell. - Your second sentence here is a fragment. I'd suggest rewriting it this way: If this pivotal moment had not taken place, the children would never have found Narnia and there would have been no story to tell.
You've been working hard! Best of luck!
Thanks,
Sarah, EssayForum.com
