Unanswered [3] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


TED summary- A New Way to Heal Hearts without Surgery



fauziyahtami 22 / 36  
Oct 4, 2016   #1
One of a hundred child in a worldwide has some kind of heart disease. The problem starts during pregnancy. The fetus needs to survive by communicating with the system and pulmonary blood inside their mother. After child getting birth, the communication has to stop and if it doesn't close it will make a hole in the child's heart. This phenomenon caused by prematurity and genetics condition. Major surgery is the only one solution to close the hole, yet Mr. Frenz Freudenthal and team have found a way to solve this problem by using a coil. This method was a success but it doesn't work on the baby who lives at 12,000 feet high. They have different heart conditions, their orifice between the arteries is larger. The baby cannot afford to be treated and die. The coil is only success in a half of Bolivia. Mr. Frenz and team tried to make a new device by using a traditional weaving complex pattern. The weaving let them created a seamless device. The device designed with a smart material that will not rust. It works by expands itself to be a complex structure. The device enters to the baby through the natural channel. The doctor only carries on the device close to the catheter through the hole, it will expand and close the hole. This method is no need a surgery and only takes 30 minutes. They committed to make sure that no one child is left behind, so they started to develop a foundation with one to one model. Everyone device mounted, everyone free device will be given.

Source: ted.com/talks/franz_freudenthal_a_new_way_to_heal_hearts_without_surgery#t-524414

Hujjatul19 45 / 64  
Oct 4, 2016   #2
Hi fauziyah, here is some suggestions for your writing in order to improve it.

This phenomenon is caused by prematurity ...

This method wasis a success but it doesn't work ... thought it is fact, it should be simple present time

Best regard


Home / Writing Feedback / TED summary- A New Way to Heal Hearts without Surgery
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳