Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


IELTS Task 2 - surveillance technologies provide individual tracking information



ekalamarsyari11 72 / 101  
Sep 25, 2016   #1
Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cell phone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening.

Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?


Since early 21 century surveillance technologies such as tracking devices and security cameras have developed. Governments in this case aim to increase national security by using such technologies that help them monitoring ordinary people's activities although inhabitants' privacy should be disturbed because they are do not realized those undercover observation. However, I argue that the crime prevention technology can protect citizens from robberies and terrorism.

Closed-circuit television installation has become new security standard. As its size that is almost unaware CCTV is more effective than positioned some bodyguards. In the Great Britain widely uses of CCTV sake Metropolitan Police to solve and find out more than 100 robbers in 2011. In addition, this technology has decreased 30 percent crime rate in U.S.A for latest 5 years. Despite this, it is considered as expensive technologies so that those security cameras have not applied commonly in some developing countries in Africa and Asia.

Another device of surveillance technology is cell phone tracking that has used to prevent a country from terrorism. Almost no one can lose from such a tracking since mobile phone has become primary tool to have a communication around the world,. American Central Intelligence Agency has operated this technology to observe the number of suspicious activities that suspect as terrorism planning. Every phone's provider also has stored such specific data of each user in order to help governments spy on terrorism possibility that may be organized by their residents. Although those parties will keep every tracking fact, this protocol should interrupt humans' right for having freedom and private communication.

In conclusion, individual tracking information will not be exposed to public and it just keep in the secrecy storage while such important data may support to enhance national safety. For such reasons I do believe that the advantages of surveillance technology use overshadow its disadvantages.

Mayank7g 9 / 16  
Sep 26, 2016   #2
Since early 21 century surveillance ... Governments in this case aim [...] those undercover observation .Its an opinion discussion essay You should paraphrase the statement then state your plan and the side you agree. You don't have to elaborate in introduction. Keep it to 30-40 words. You can break this sentence and use in separate paragraph However, I argue ...

Closed-circuit television ... As its size that is almost unaware CCTV ...This is because, CCTV cameras are more effective/efficient than security guards due to their comparatively small sizes. . To illustrate this/For example, In the Great Britain widely uses of CCTV ...

You are not addressing the task completely. Please use this formula if you finding difficulty. In opinion/discussion essays
1) Introduction para(Paraphrase, your plan and opinion), 2) Body para 1 (state the side u disagree or discuss disadvantages), 3) body para 2 (state the side u agree or discuss advantages 4) conclusion(include main point and state you view again.

You will not get the marks for writing more words. 250 words is the requirement. Try to write less and precise.


Hope this helps.. Keep writing cheers!


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 - surveillance technologies provide individual tracking information
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳