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'technology does not deteriorate the ability of humans to think' GRE essay

Sep 13, 2011   #1
I am from Europe and would appreciate any help with my essays.
All critiques are more than welcome.
Please, help me today, because I might help you tomorrow

Topic #1
[b]As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

Speaking of modern way of a life, we cannot exclude technology. It has become an ever-increasing part of it. While a technological development made our lives easier and simpler, it brought several negative impacts on our lives, such as psychological problems and stress in daily routine. However, the ability of humans to think for themselves is not deteriorated. In my opinion there are several reasons to support this point of view. Some of them are: constant development and knowing how to solve the problem.

The latest developments in technology revolutionized the way humans live. The modern world is in constant change and, day by day, it is moving forward. Humans mind enable that constant change. All technological achievements are products of mental processes. Nothing could be possible without humans and their ability to think. For example, every day people use different kinds of software products at homes, offices, schools, and public institutions. It helps them to be more efficient, faster, and more precise in their tasks. In other words it help them to solve problems. However, software products are developed by humans and are product of the power of mental processing. The ability of thinking is the driving force of a development. That's why we cannot say that use of technology can lead to deterioration of that ability. Actually, technological solutions are products of the development, not deterioration, of the ability of humans to think.

There are some arguments against this point of view that emphasize negative consequences of technology. I would often hear that using calculators could make us less efficient because we are relaying on it to solve problems, not on our own mental process. This assumption is not valid. People forget that knowing how to solve problem is also important part of thinking. For example, developers of the GRE test understood this claim. They decided to allow applicants to use on-screen calculator for math problems. If we know how to solve particular problem, relaying on technology will just make us more efficient.

Above information is just a glimpse on how technology has an effect on us. In my opinion, technology improves human life and enables further development of the ability of humans to think. Constant improvement of our society demonstrates that technology does not deteriorate the ability of humans to think. Beside that, knowing how to solve a problem is the part of mental processing. In modern world, people should relay on technology to solve problems. It will just help them to be more efficient, faster and more precise. However, there are some negative impacts of technology on humans; most of them have psychological nature like "internet addiction". We have to conclude that technology gives us a tool to make a difference in our lives, but we have to use it wisely.

Sep 13, 2011   #2
I thoroughly enjoyed reading your essay, as I have been in the process of writing for graduate admissions (my essay includes the advances of technology and it's connection and disconnection to humanity). But, this post is not about me.

The moderator assisted with spelling and grammar errors, so you are set there.

Is there a word limit for this particular essay? I would be keen for you to further expand on your stance outside of software and calculators. I am not sure I get a clear sense of your position in response to the statement they present. Does the essay leave room to discuss and make clear your position. Perhaps starting the essay, "I disagree (or agree) with the statement "_________" and expand in more detail those reasons you list and why. It seems as if they are wanting you to a) formulate an opinion, b) provide evidence as to why your opinion exists, and c) formulate the process by which you reason based on your current knowledge and experiences to come to a logical conclusion.

That is just my take, anyway.

I hope that helps.

Best regards.
Sep 14, 2011   #3
Susan, thank you very much for your time.
All corrections are more than welcome :)
Sep 14, 2011   #4
Slootr, thank you for your help. I really appreciate.

This essay is a part of my GRE. Since it is time limited writing, I didn't have enough time to further expand my ideas. Does it seem incomplete?

But your perception is very helpful.
If I understand you correctly, my writing is too broad. I have to be more precise and give striking examples to support my point of view.

Your critics are very helpful.

Best regards.

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