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TOFEL Writing test_Do you agree with that in twenty years there will be fewer cars?



ClaireQQ 1 / -  
Jul 21, 2019   #1
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

In twenty years there will be fewer cars in use than there are today.


Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.


Car, one of the greatest invention in the history, allows people to go almost anywhere conveniently. However, I believe that in twenty years there will be fewer cars in use than there today due to a better pubic transportation system, more population, and the convenience to rent a car.

To begin with, there will be a better public transportation system in each city. Living in a modern city, I can see lots of people take use of buses, trains, and MRT to commute everyday. Good transportation brings more business come to set offices in this area, which brings more people to come to work and consume foods and other products. Therefore, more restaurants and chain stores are willing to open store hear. According to sentences above, it shows that good transportation system can bring a lot of benefits. Thus, the government will invest money to develop the public transportation system, making the city more convenient to attract more business and people come and make the city prosperous. Gradually, people have no need of a car.

Secondly, with the population growing, land will be less and less. And, the less the land is, the more expensive it will be. It is quite hard to purchase a house for living. Having a car will be quite costly because you need to buy a house with parking lot or rent one. With the recession of the economic and the increasing price of daily expenses, it will be less likely for people to purchase their own car because the expense of parking lot is not cheap at all.

Last but not least, it is more convenient to rent a car. Like bikes can be rented with easy cards, cars also can be rented with simple process. Thus, it is not necessary to have your own car since you can rent one when needed. By doing so, you can save money for not only parking lot but also for taxes and maintain.

In conclusion, I think there will be fewer cars in use than there are today due to a better public transportation system, the growing population, and the convenience to rent a car.

Maria - / 1096  
Jul 22, 2019   #2
@ClaireQQ
Hi there. Let me provide you with writing feedback.

First and foremost, ensure that the forms of your verbs are correct. Remember to keep consistent all throughout your language. If you start out with plurals, maintain it. Remembering these fundamental rules is key.

Furthermore, try to also evade the usage of excessive words. When writing, write with intention and precision. Unnecessary words can be avoided to help you clear out space in your essay. If you do this, you'll have more space for substantive content. This will enable you to have more room for depth. Remember to use alternative words that are easier to understand. For instance, not necessary can be changed to unnecessary.

These small changes will go a long way. Best of luck!


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