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Ielts topic: choosing studying at home or at school


hvthoteen 16 / 44 4  
Jul 15, 2011   #1
Ielts topic: In the future, students may have the choice of studying at home by using technology such as computers or televisions or of studying at traditional schools. Which would you prefer? Use reasons and specific details to explain your choice

My essay:
Studying at school or at home is a hotly debated topic. From my own viewpoint, I am in favor of being at school because there are typical things I cannot experience by just studying at home. Studying with many classmates in an educational environment not only brings me useful information, offers a chance for interaction with various people but also creates motivation for me to learn better. Therefore, I believe that I will learn a great deal more at school.

Information comes from both technology and people around. At home, by using a computer or by watching television, I can accumulate a variety of information. But I can even learn more. At school, by discussing ideas with my friends or by asking teachers for help in my exercises, my knowledge is enriched a lot. Hence, I think I learn better at school.

Interaction with other people increases my experiences and skills. When I study at home, there is no partner to exchange ideas with me. Gradually, I will become passive. That is why I hate studying alone at home. Meanwhile, when I study at school, there are many friends to discuss exercises or heated topics with me. Consequently, my results in studying will be better. Also, I can improve my team work ability and communicating skills. It is easy to see that I really benefit when studying at school.

In addition, motivation from competition with other students encourages me to study harder. At school, I tend to learn more when my grade is lower than other students'. At home, I seem to study lazily because I do not know how others perform. Personally, I think the average results of students will be raised when they are at school.

In conclusion, I would concede that studying at home has its own advantages. However, plentiful information, necessary interaction and strong motivation at school greatly convince me that school is the best place for me to study.

shahdad 7 / 17  
Jul 16, 2011   #2
hi
i am poor writer but i think you made the essay very personal,instead of using i,you could omit it,because to me it sounds boring,

i hope you gain score that you want.
OP hvthoteen 16 / 44 4  
Jul 17, 2011   #3
can someone check the clarity, structure and cohision of my essay. I am trying to improve my ielts writing
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,334 129  
Jul 17, 2011   #4
Okay, let's fix this complicated sentence:

Studying with many classmates in an educational environment not only brings me useful information but also offers a chance for interaction with various people and creates...

When I study at home, there is no partner to exchange ideas with me. Gradually, I will become passive. That is why I hate studying alone at home.-----WOW, what a beautiful, eloquent writing style you have.

I think the last paragraph should be longer. Give the reader "something extra" to think about at the end.

:-)

Great job here!! It is clear and meaningful.


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