This is a Longman Essay Topic.
Hi everyone!! I am preparing for the toefl ibt. I am not good at writing.. either in my own language. I get maximum 20 point from writing sections and I can't impove it. Could you please check my essay and tell your opinions about it?
Thank you very much
Do you think telecommuting is more advantageous and common comparing to the working in an Office? Different people will give different responses to this question depending on their own characteristics, emotional concerns, personal experiences and even educational backgrounds. However, when it comes to me, I strongly believe that working in an office is more advantageous. There are several reasons for my perspective as follow in the next paragraphs.
The first and foremost reason is that telecommuting interrupt social relationships. Socialism is one of the most important thing in human life. Recently, our jobs cover our lives completely. After doing our duties, we have a very little time to do other things. Therefore, job hours are very essential for us and staying alone and without sharing anything to anyone is not healthy for human pyschology. Just as the English proverb goes, 'There are some people who have the opposite view and prefer not to have any relation and do his duities by himself.
In the second place, besides building up new relations at work, working in an Office provide you to join different kind of activities. Joining wine days or dinner organizations and going to sport centers, dance courses, concert organizations are the couple of examples of acting together. When you work isolated in your home, you could be aware about such kind of things.
Last but not least, working in an Office provide you best environment to get informations about your job and learn new progresses happening in your profficiency. In addition, you have a chance to discuss with your friends about one particular topic, and ask something that you have trouble at work to the experienced employees. Job environment presents you to help your collegeaus and getting help from your collegaues.
In conclusion, working in an Office is much more advantageous comparing to the telecommuting. The sense of helping someone who needs, joining activities with your colleagues, and socializing, getting friends are the some good ways what Office environment brings to us. Therefore, I prefer to work with my colleagues and benefit from these good ways.
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Hi everyone!! I am preparing for the toefl ibt. I am not good at writing.. either in my own language. I get maximum 20 point from writing sections and I can't impove it. Could you please check my essay and tell your opinions about it?
Thank you very much
Do you think telecommuting is more advantageous and common comparing to the working in an Office? Different people will give different responses to this question depending on their own characteristics, emotional concerns, personal experiences and even educational backgrounds. However, when it comes to me, I strongly believe that working in an office is more advantageous. There are several reasons for my perspective as follow in the next paragraphs.
The first and foremost reason is that telecommuting interrupt social relationships. Socialism is one of the most important thing in human life. Recently, our jobs cover our lives completely. After doing our duties, we have a very little time to do other things. Therefore, job hours are very essential for us and staying alone and without sharing anything to anyone is not healthy for human pyschology. Just as the English proverb goes, 'There are some people who have the opposite view and prefer not to have any relation and do his duities by himself.
In the second place, besides building up new relations at work, working in an Office provide you to join different kind of activities. Joining wine days or dinner organizations and going to sport centers, dance courses, concert organizations are the couple of examples of acting together. When you work isolated in your home, you could be aware about such kind of things.
Last but not least, working in an Office provide you best environment to get informations about your job and learn new progresses happening in your profficiency. In addition, you have a chance to discuss with your friends about one particular topic, and ask something that you have trouble at work to the experienced employees. Job environment presents you to help your collegeaus and getting help from your collegaues.
In conclusion, working in an Office is much more advantageous comparing to the telecommuting. The sense of helping someone who needs, joining activities with your colleagues, and socializing, getting friends are the some good ways what Office environment brings to us. Therefore, I prefer to work with my colleagues and benefit from these good ways.
331
