Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


Universe exploration projects - these are a waste of money and all the funds should be spent better



orbital188 1 / 1  
Aug 27, 2015   #1
IELTS WRITING TASK 2: government funds for space exploration

Governments in some countries spend large amounts of money on their universe exploration projects. I completely agree with the idea that these are a waste of money, and that the funds should be better spent on dealing with issues closer to home.

Space spending is unnecessary and should be stopped. Cosmo discovering need huge amounts of money to build space stations, to buy modern equipment from satellite to rockets, and to pay for scientists and astronauts as well. It apparently takes a very long time and many works to do. Some space projects need decades, or even a century to complete, but only very few information are received in return. In addition, the risks of space exploration are really concerned, such as space shuttle explosions or space wars.

On the other hand, some important issues in hometown, especially poverty, education and healthcare, need to be solved immediately for improving life qualities of country residents. It is undoubtedly true that many provinces demand more funds to against poverty, which is responsible for a rising of death rate, crime and children malnutrition. Secondly, funds should be invested in education. By using funds, many poor children now will have chance to experience a better education, learning in a good environment. Thirdly, health care developed by funds will bring a healthy society, which is one of the key features for the standard of living.

For the reasons above, I believe that we should use money wisely to tackle hometown problems, rather than use it for useless space exploration.

EF_Carol - / 145  
Aug 27, 2015   #2
Your writing is well done, but needs some help!

secondly,, funds...

You should call this a new paragraph because essays usually go by 4 or 5 paragraphs! The topic of funds could use some further explanation.

I completely agree...

Could you perhaps tweak this to agree, and then include some advantages of space travel in your intro? You could say it furthers our knowledge of the universe and this makes us a stronger nation.

Basically good use of vocabulary and punctuation. Spelling is okay too!

Good start! You just need to consider making 5he intro about both sides. Also expansion of the funds topic would solidify the essay. You could also include the pros of space travel in the conclusion, for the same reason.

ef_carol


Home / Writing Feedback / Universe exploration projects - these are a waste of money and all the funds should be spent better
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Need professional help with your assignments? Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳