Teacher's Response for my First-Draft
LawrenceDan,
I'd try to complicate the argument somehow. Bring in a naysayer. What are the odds of actually finding a high-paying job as a gamer? What else is it about gaming connects it to the American Dream? Is it the underdog aspect? The fact that it's a new industry? The gamers themselves? Keep working on this. Do more research. Complicate your argument. Bring in specific examples.
My main note is to expand. In the end, this essay should be about twice as long.
Yours,
Ryan
My Teachers Prompt:
_________________________________________________________________ _____________
WR 39A Final Essay: In Search for the American Dream
"The American Dream is that dream of a land in which life should be better and richer and fuller for everyone, with opportunity for each according to ability or achievement...It is not a dream of motor cars and high wages merely, but a dream of social order in which each man and each woman shall be able to attain to the fullest stature of which they are innately capable, and be recognized by others for what they are, regardless of the fortuitous circumstances of birth or position."-James Truslow Adams
The texts this quarter have directly and indirectly asked and answered the question "Is the American Dream alive?" It's no small inquiry, but through your own writing and thoughtful engagement with these essays, novels and talks, you've begun finding your own position within this larger conversation. In doing so, you've practiced stylistics techniques, as well as worked closely with content to examine how these diverse perspectives might intersect or contradict one another's.
You'll now use your own experience and understanding to enter into discourse with other voices in regard to this topic. In fact, your own experiences, upbringing, concerns, and desires for the future will inform your essay and help you determine your stance. In this essay, you're encouraged to use your unique perspective to steer you toward an opinion regarding the state of the American Dream.
Final Essay: The final essay asks you to answer a question: If the American Dream is alive, where is it and what is its condition? Through your understanding of the topic and via a self-directed research process-one in which you'll build upon your information literacy skills-you'll examine a particular geography, industry, demographic, or cultural phenomenon where you believe the American Dream is alive (and, possibly, hopefully, well?).
You'll be asked to focus on the specific rather than the general or broad. Think in terms of where you're encountering ideas that speak to these ideals. Is the American Dream on television sitcoms? In Southern California? In the college classroom? Do you find it on social media? In the arts? On the basketball court? In another country altogether? When you look around, where might you find it?
REQUIREMENTS:
double-spaced, typed pages; 12 point font (Times New Roman), Length 5-8 pages
Format style: MLA
Sources: Minimum of 5 outside sources
Comment: I don't know know how else to bring in a naysayer please help!
LawrenceDan Dizon
Mr. Ryan Ridge
Writing 39A
25 November 2013
Video Games and the American Dream
In the past, The American Dream was defined as an upward social climb - the attainment of individual prosperity and success through hard work, regardless of a person's social status or condition of birth. So where is the American Dream present in modern day life? The American Dream is currently present in the video game culture, specifically in the Electronic Sports Industry, where international video game competitions are held by sponsoring companies that distribute six figure cash prizes to the winners and runner-up teams. The rise of video game streaming and the innovative ideas of game companies have allowed individuals to achieve fame, fortune, and success in the modern age of technology.
Video game competitions are becoming quite popular internationally, and may soon become a trend in today's pop culture. The highly favored real-time strategy game, League of Legends, produced by Riot Games Corporations, has impacted the eSports industry drastically with its massive fan base. On October 4, 2013, Riot Games held the largest E-Sport event in history, with a record of 32 million fans, live at the Staples Center in Los Angeles. Eight and a half million people also watched the live event via online video streaming (Beck). E-sport competitions are international competitions that benefit not only individuals of America, but also people from other countries. The prize pool for the League of Legends Season 3 World Championship is precisely 2 million dollars, where 14 countries - North America, Europe, South Korea, China, and Southeast Asia - compete to receive the grand prize (Breslau). This competition, and others like it, allow worldwide prosperity by distributing grand prizes to the hard-working teams that come out victorious. League of Legends, a successful production, created a whole new way for people to achieve a sudden and immense increase in capital.
Live video game broadcasting has enabled gamers to achieve a sense of identity in the gaming world. Any player can become a video game celebrity simply by being impressively good at a popular game and broadcasting their feats. Twitch TV, a live broadcasting website, allows users to share their live gaming experiences with the world. A StarCraft 2 Pro Gamer Steven Bonnell stated, "I've actually been able to quit my previous job because the money I earn per hour while streaming was greater than my previous line of work. I stream very frequently (upwards of 8-12 hours a day) and I'm able to capture one of the largest audiences in Starcraft II (about 5,000-8,000 viewers at any given point in time (Gaudiosi). Live streaming has given people the opportunity to live the dream of playing video games and at the same time get paid a respectable wage. The earnings are received through the amount of views of the advertisements that are played between resting intervals. Donations are even accepted for appreciation of hosting a stream. Not only does streaming pay an acceptable wage, but it also gives you the opportunity to become famous in the gaming world. A few decades ago, it wasn't likely possible to play video games and earn respectable pay wage, but now it is proven that you can earn income and achieve fame from a hobby that you love to do.
The video game industry continues to rise as video game developers and game enthusiasts continue the flow of the economy. Technology wasn't advanced in previous years for streaming video competitions to be adequately appealing to the world. The advancement has allowed the video game industry to blossom more than it has ever before. People are now interested in becoming a part of this new culture. John Gaudiosi, Professional Video Game Journalist, stated "Sundance DiGiovanni, CEO and co-founder of Major League Gaming, believes the future looks bright for pro gaming. In fact, within a decade, he believes eSports will be part of pop culture just like regular sports are today" (Gaudiosi). The industry well serves both the people and the companies themselves. It is the clear image of the American Dream of the people, and the dream of America itself.
I myself a video game enthusiast, approached the American Dream through video games. Currently, I am a college freshman of UC Irvine with the aspirations of achieving prosperity and success. Playing video games has made it possible for me to achieve this dream through an alternative path. On one path I can achieve this dream through hard work in school, getting a college degree, and find my placement in society by starting my career; the other route by doing my side hobby of playing video games, and sharing my gameplay with the world. Playing video games is where I can see an up rise in the American dream that can still be achieved through hard work and practiced talent. This whole new system has made it possible for anyone to achieve this dream regardless of who you are and where you're from.
LawrenceDan,
I'd try to complicate the argument somehow. Bring in a naysayer. What are the odds of actually finding a high-paying job as a gamer? What else is it about gaming connects it to the American Dream? Is it the underdog aspect? The fact that it's a new industry? The gamers themselves? Keep working on this. Do more research. Complicate your argument. Bring in specific examples.
My main note is to expand. In the end, this essay should be about twice as long.
Yours,
Ryan
My Teachers Prompt:
_________________________________________________________________ _____________
WR 39A Final Essay: In Search for the American Dream
"The American Dream is that dream of a land in which life should be better and richer and fuller for everyone, with opportunity for each according to ability or achievement...It is not a dream of motor cars and high wages merely, but a dream of social order in which each man and each woman shall be able to attain to the fullest stature of which they are innately capable, and be recognized by others for what they are, regardless of the fortuitous circumstances of birth or position."-James Truslow Adams
The texts this quarter have directly and indirectly asked and answered the question "Is the American Dream alive?" It's no small inquiry, but through your own writing and thoughtful engagement with these essays, novels and talks, you've begun finding your own position within this larger conversation. In doing so, you've practiced stylistics techniques, as well as worked closely with content to examine how these diverse perspectives might intersect or contradict one another's.
You'll now use your own experience and understanding to enter into discourse with other voices in regard to this topic. In fact, your own experiences, upbringing, concerns, and desires for the future will inform your essay and help you determine your stance. In this essay, you're encouraged to use your unique perspective to steer you toward an opinion regarding the state of the American Dream.
Final Essay: The final essay asks you to answer a question: If the American Dream is alive, where is it and what is its condition? Through your understanding of the topic and via a self-directed research process-one in which you'll build upon your information literacy skills-you'll examine a particular geography, industry, demographic, or cultural phenomenon where you believe the American Dream is alive (and, possibly, hopefully, well?).
You'll be asked to focus on the specific rather than the general or broad. Think in terms of where you're encountering ideas that speak to these ideals. Is the American Dream on television sitcoms? In Southern California? In the college classroom? Do you find it on social media? In the arts? On the basketball court? In another country altogether? When you look around, where might you find it?
REQUIREMENTS:
double-spaced, typed pages; 12 point font (Times New Roman), Length 5-8 pages
Format style: MLA
Sources: Minimum of 5 outside sources
Comment: I don't know know how else to bring in a naysayer please help!
LawrenceDan Dizon
Mr. Ryan Ridge
Writing 39A
25 November 2013
Video Games and the American Dream
In the past, The American Dream was defined as an upward social climb - the attainment of individual prosperity and success through hard work, regardless of a person's social status or condition of birth. So where is the American Dream present in modern day life? The American Dream is currently present in the video game culture, specifically in the Electronic Sports Industry, where international video game competitions are held by sponsoring companies that distribute six figure cash prizes to the winners and runner-up teams. The rise of video game streaming and the innovative ideas of game companies have allowed individuals to achieve fame, fortune, and success in the modern age of technology.
Video game competitions are becoming quite popular internationally, and may soon become a trend in today's pop culture. The highly favored real-time strategy game, League of Legends, produced by Riot Games Corporations, has impacted the eSports industry drastically with its massive fan base. On October 4, 2013, Riot Games held the largest E-Sport event in history, with a record of 32 million fans, live at the Staples Center in Los Angeles. Eight and a half million people also watched the live event via online video streaming (Beck). E-sport competitions are international competitions that benefit not only individuals of America, but also people from other countries. The prize pool for the League of Legends Season 3 World Championship is precisely 2 million dollars, where 14 countries - North America, Europe, South Korea, China, and Southeast Asia - compete to receive the grand prize (Breslau). This competition, and others like it, allow worldwide prosperity by distributing grand prizes to the hard-working teams that come out victorious. League of Legends, a successful production, created a whole new way for people to achieve a sudden and immense increase in capital.
Live video game broadcasting has enabled gamers to achieve a sense of identity in the gaming world. Any player can become a video game celebrity simply by being impressively good at a popular game and broadcasting their feats. Twitch TV, a live broadcasting website, allows users to share their live gaming experiences with the world. A StarCraft 2 Pro Gamer Steven Bonnell stated, "I've actually been able to quit my previous job because the money I earn per hour while streaming was greater than my previous line of work. I stream very frequently (upwards of 8-12 hours a day) and I'm able to capture one of the largest audiences in Starcraft II (about 5,000-8,000 viewers at any given point in time (Gaudiosi). Live streaming has given people the opportunity to live the dream of playing video games and at the same time get paid a respectable wage. The earnings are received through the amount of views of the advertisements that are played between resting intervals. Donations are even accepted for appreciation of hosting a stream. Not only does streaming pay an acceptable wage, but it also gives you the opportunity to become famous in the gaming world. A few decades ago, it wasn't likely possible to play video games and earn respectable pay wage, but now it is proven that you can earn income and achieve fame from a hobby that you love to do.
The video game industry continues to rise as video game developers and game enthusiasts continue the flow of the economy. Technology wasn't advanced in previous years for streaming video competitions to be adequately appealing to the world. The advancement has allowed the video game industry to blossom more than it has ever before. People are now interested in becoming a part of this new culture. John Gaudiosi, Professional Video Game Journalist, stated "Sundance DiGiovanni, CEO and co-founder of Major League Gaming, believes the future looks bright for pro gaming. In fact, within a decade, he believes eSports will be part of pop culture just like regular sports are today" (Gaudiosi). The industry well serves both the people and the companies themselves. It is the clear image of the American Dream of the people, and the dream of America itself.
I myself a video game enthusiast, approached the American Dream through video games. Currently, I am a college freshman of UC Irvine with the aspirations of achieving prosperity and success. Playing video games has made it possible for me to achieve this dream through an alternative path. On one path I can achieve this dream through hard work in school, getting a college degree, and find my placement in society by starting my career; the other route by doing my side hobby of playing video games, and sharing my gameplay with the world. Playing video games is where I can see an up rise in the American dream that can still be achieved through hard work and practiced talent. This whole new system has made it possible for anyone to achieve this dream regardless of who you are and where you're from.
