GRE; Welfare of the nation and the desire of corporations to maximize profits

TOPIC:
"The desire of corporations to maximize profits creates conflict with the general welfare of the nation at large. "

Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion stated above. Support your views with reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations or reading.

MY RESPONSE:

The statement links welfare of the nation and the desire of corporations to maximize profits. When one considers these two entities, one can see that they are intermingled. The corporations and their actions have an extensive impact on the general welfare of nation. The impact however, may be positive or negative depending on the type of action.

When we consider the action of maximizing profit, one may say that it will hamper the national welfare. The reason being, while maximizing profits, corporations have to sideline important aspects such as national benefit, safety. When corporations take a path for their own development and profit, they tend to prioritize in an order where national welfare is at the lower end of the queue.

However, one may argue that the maximizing of profits by corporations will after all help to improve the national economy. As profits earned increase, so will the national wealth. When profits are maximized, the benefits are received by a lucky few. What reaches the masses is still the same. The overall welfare of the nation is jeopardized.

I conclude by saying that increasing profits is going to benefit the nation only to a certain extent. A desire to maximize profits beyond that extent will only conflict with the national welfare. Hence, corporations have to consider these factors before taking any actions.

Thanks a lot :)

- I believe that related would be a more appropriate word to use given the context of the succeeding sentences. Is there a way you can expound upon this statement of yours? Just to give the reader an idea of what you mean. By the way, you need to specifically mention your stand on the matter, whether you agree or disagree early in the introductory paragraph. I don't see your stand indicated.


- How do they do that? Why aren't they being prevented from doing so? You can still expand this paragraph in order to deepen the discussion.


- You should cite additional information that proves this point in order to make it credible.


- Actions relating to what? You need to define that in order to accurately conclude this paragraph.

There are some grammar issues in the essay but those can be overlooked while we try to create a solid draft essay for you at the moment. After that, we can polish those grammar problems :-)

Personally I think you need a stronger thesis statement in the introductory paragraph. It is ambiguous which side you are taking to argue or at least "to what extent" you are agreeing with the statement.

As for concrete stances you need to support your standing, I suggest the follows:
- the constant lobby of domestic corporations to raise import taxes, government subsidies or promote nationalism --> general consumers' loss of purchasing goods at possible higher price and lower quality

- the fraudulent/illegal acts of corporations to cut environmental expenses, or evade taxes -> government and people's loss
I'm sure you have heard a lot of empirical cases involving above actions. You can use them to clearly illustrate your point of argument.