essay about women opportunities

Hii everyone..

I'm a new IETLS student and would like to have a help to correct my writting and improve my score in the exam. please advice me and offer any suggestions to improve my essay or litters. thanks

This is my first essay writting...
Topic about the opportunityies for women nowadays are more than they were in the past and some people think that this can caused more problem than it has solved ? What are your Opinion?

In the current life everyone can noticed the increasing percentages of the divorces and the continous problems appear in our houses. The peace of mind no longer found in our families. One of the main reson for tha is the high opportunities that have been given to the womens nowadays. In my opinion this issue has a serios disadvantages where I belive it affect more than effect the sociaty.

First of all, In the past, women used to be only a house-maker. She was nurting her house ans childrens in highly organized ways. In last 10 years and with the increase level of education for wome, the chalanges to word the work increased. Which encaraged her to move over her main resposibility and search for her ambitions and success in other field of life. For an instance, women nowadays spending more time in her work to be satisfied from the employer and ignore her childens and husbands needs in thier home.

PLEASE, I am waitting ur replay for my essay inorder to complete the other paragraphes.
Thanks

In the current lifesmodern socities weeveryone can noticedthat the increasingpercentagesnumbers of the divorces and the continous problems appear in our housesserious domestic issues that disturb peace and harmony of family lives are ever increasing. The peace of mind is no longer found in our families. One of the main resons for that is the high opportunities that have been given to the womens nowadays. In my opinion this issue has a serios disadvantages where I belive it affect more than effect the sociatyits benefits to the society .

Thanks I really appreciate ur correction I was surprised for all that mistakes! however, I'm glad that u guid me for this mistakes

First, in the past women used to only be the house maker. Women nurture their house and children in highly organized ways. The past 10 years with the increase in the level of education for women the challenges of the world has increased. These encourage her to move on the her ambitions and success in the field of life For instance, women nowadays tend to spend more time on work, rather than with their children and husbands.